I'm trying. I really am.

I feel like I'm forgetting something or leaving tihngs out, and it's as much for zedrikcayne's benefit as it is for the nurses. Not because he won't be a good voice when I need it but because he's charming but forgetful and when he's worried about me, he sometimes just won't remember. And so I want things on paper so that he can look and say "okay, this is what we wanted."

But at the same time, I appreciate the reminder to believe in myself. Because that's part of this whole package. I've made so many other big changes and felt good about the choices. With this, I'm just lost.