(no subject)

Okay...

So here was the suggestion I recieved regarding spamassassin and qmail.

"look up the spamassassin docs for how to run it via procmail and put in a .foward that invokes procmail"

Which in fact sounds like a very reasonable solution, but for one thing.

I have no idea how to do this. Is there anyone who can help?

A Rose by Any Other Name...

would still be confusing...

I know there are a bunch of married people who read my journal. And I know that some of the married people share names, and others don't, and that there are myriad reasons for choosing to change or not change ones name. I also realize that I have months before this actually becomes a big concern, but it's something I'm putting quite a bit of thought into...I know (from growing up with the name/initials I did) that names are in fact very important. So this is important to me...

(I'm interested in the whole range of opinions though...from married and non-married and people who plan on never being married and so on and so on.)

( Background information you should know before proceeding: )

What do I do about my name? I've narrowed it down to the following choices:

change my name so that we have the same last name

dont't change my name, and let us continue to have different last names

Add his last name to my current name and become EGGG, continue to use my current name professional, but use his name socially.

Use option three, but Cayne adds my current last name as a second middle name to his own. (This was Cayne's idea, by the way.)

Hyphenating doesn't work; there's just no way that sounds good to combine our names.

Cayne won't change his last name. This is okay with me. Culturally, we both were raised with the understanding that the woman changes her name when she gets married, and not the man...and so I think perhaps I grew up with different feelings about that possibilty than he did.

I realize that there are pros and cons to both sides...I've weighed them out, and come up with nothing. I've talked about it with Cayne and gotten his opinion on things. I've talked it over with aquariumgirl. I still don't know what to do. I know what my parents, and Cayne's parents expect me to do, but really...what does that have to do with anything, right?

Things I've considered:

as a feminist, what is the meaning and impact of chosing to take a husband's name?

what are the benefits of sharing a family name? of not sharing one?

are there practical issues that arise from sharing or not sharing the same name> (aquariumgirl and I discussed this a bit last night.)

if, in a sense, marriage means creating a new family that begins with Cayne and I, even though I'm not letting go of my own biological family, how is that influeced or affected by choosing to share one name, and in particular his name

I'm probably forgetting stuff, too.

The name I've had...it identifies who I've been for almost 30 years. It's part of who I am now...I don't know what it says about the person I'll be in the future. It's important, and I am, admittedly, kind of attached to it. My famly carries this name, and it does say something about who I am...and I don't want to let go of it too much, if at all.

So I'm throwing this out for feedback from you all. Opinions on name changing? Pros, cons, reasons, yes no?

I don't have to decide. I just want input to think about it.