geminigirl | (no subject)

As I was cutting up some chicken to go in a stir fry for Cayne's lunch, I had Oprah on the TV. She's interviewing author Terry McMillian (of the semi-autobiographical How Stella Got her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale and others) and her ex-husband, Johnathan Plummer, who revealed to Terry that he was gay.

During the early part of the program, Oprah was discussing with Terry McMillan how Johnathan revealed his sexual orientation to Oprah, and how, at the time he revealed to her that he is gay he also said that he'd never been intimate with a man. Terry McMillian responded with, "That's like saying you're an alcoholic without ever having had a drink."

It's a frequent refrain, "How can you know you're lesbian/gay/bisexual if you've never had sex with a MOTAS¹?

So, how did you know about your own sexuality...gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, whatever label you choose to apply? Before or after you started having sex? Did you ever question it? How do you feel about what Terry McMillian said to Johnathan-do you think people can know before they try it?

(Anon posting on, IP logging off, so go ahead an answer anonymously if you like-also, feel free to link to this post and encourage other people to answer, and

mactavish I can re-post it Friday to

bisexual as a QOTW if you like.)

1. Member Of The Appropriate Sex

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The instance I saw this happen, he was begging this girl for a BJ at a party. He'd also dated women before. Maybe he fits somewhere in the middle, but it always seemed a little weird to just about everyone who knew him.

Uh, maybe he was bisexual?

Unless he pursued a relationship with a woman, I'd say probably not. Who someone has sex with isn't the defining behavior of one's sexual orientation. Attraction and intimacy have more to do with it, I think.

*shrug* I haven't had a relationship with a woman in quite a while. I'm still bisexual.
Sometimes it takes a little while to come to terms with one bit or the other.

Yeah, that's what I meant by saying 'in the middle'. I should have been more clear.