geminigirl | (no subject)

As I was cutting up some chicken to go in a stir fry for Cayne's lunch, I had Oprah on the TV. She's interviewing author Terry McMillian (of the semi-autobiographical How Stella Got her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale and others) and her ex-husband, Johnathan Plummer, who revealed to Terry that he was gay.

During the early part of the program, Oprah was discussing with Terry McMillan how Johnathan revealed his sexual orientation to Oprah, and how, at the time he revealed to her that he is gay he also said that he'd never been intimate with a man. Terry McMillian responded with, "That's like saying you're an alcoholic without ever having had a drink."

It's a frequent refrain, "How can you know you're lesbian/gay/bisexual if you've never had sex with a MOTAS¹?

So, how did you know about your own sexuality...gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, whatever label you choose to apply? Before or after you started having sex? Did you ever question it? How do you feel about what Terry McMillian said to Johnathan-do you think people can know before they try it?

(Anon posting on, IP logging off, so go ahead an answer anonymously if you like-also, feel free to link to this post and encourage other people to answer, and

mactavish I can re-post it Friday to

bisexual as a QOTW if you like.)

1. Member Of The Appropriate Sex

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Is this really something people need to sit down and think about?

I think for some, it is. For others, it's a known entity. I know for me, it took some time to figure things out.

I always felt like something was a little wrong with me: after all, I am a manly man, doing manly things, and so of course I only like the womens, right? Because those homofagorts are all sick and wrong and unnatural, right? And then, it took a lot of time talking to a couple of good friends friends who were bi - and marrying Ava - for me to realize that it's perfectly okay for me to actually enjoy teh buttsex.

So, yeah, I'm bisexual. But holy crap, it took me a long damn time to figure that out. It may be something that I was born with and am incapable of changing, but it certainly isn't something that I was born understanding. It's taken me all of my life to get to this point, see?

I think being married and discovering you're bi might be easier than being married and discovering you're bi and poly. But of course, I have no idea.

I wonder if anyone can elucidate on that for me. *wonders*

(Yes, I'm using this post for my own educational purposes now. :) )

Neither my first wife or I had any idea that we were both bi and poly when we were married, and neither one of us managed to even start to figure that out until the marriage was effectively over. The new and improved wife knew that she was bi and poly when we were married, and we talked about it some. It still took me a while to figure all of that out.

Years passed, and now I know that I'm bi and poly. The understanding helps.

I owe my wife a lot. I aspire to someday be the husband that she deserves.

Dude, that picture is totally creepin' me out.

Why? Do you find my hair appalling? :D

No. The hair is mint. But, as your mother, I must advise you that, if you don't uncross your eyes, they're going to stick that way.

MOMMY! YOU ARE SO MEAN! I DON'T NEED MORE PEOPLE TEASING ME!!!!!! Least of all, YOU!

*sob, sob*