geminigirl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
geminigirl) wrote2006-09-05 09:19 pm
geminigirl) wrote2006-09-05 09:19 pm
Entry tags:
The Downside
I do love the idea of owning a house. It's a great thing, the whole equity equation, and being able to paint the walls as I want without thinking about what a landlord would say, or worry about holes in the walls or all sorts of other things that one thinks about when renting a place.
But there's a downside. A very serious downside. A very serious and personal and difficult downside. It's not about money, or space, or the Home Owner's Association or the stress of moving. I hate that someone here thought a political ad that says "Sorry, Charlie. Only Jeb Bush Conservatives get to be governor" was a good idea. It's about being here.
I hate Florida. I hate it a great deal. I hate the weather. I don't like the politics. I don't like the people. I don't like the lifestyle. I just don't like it. It's the best place for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zedrikcayne to be though, in terms of his career and his goals. And in his field, once you get to EA, there aren't many other places to go.
I've held out a little bit of hope that Cayne would spend a few years here, in Orlando, and then we'd move on to another division of EA-and there are lots of options; the Bay Area, Vancouver, Montreal and NoVa, just in North America. I can't do that anymore. I can't pretend that this isn't a long term deal. We're here, and we're staying, for the forseable future. And that's really hard for me.
I would like to be in a place I loved, a place where there was a real job market for me, where the things to do were more interesting to me, where I liked the people I met, where the political climate were more to my liking and so on and so on. And I do try to make my own happiness. I just feel very stuck.
We're here. It's not what I'd have chosen for myself. I share my life with a partner I love, and who I wouldn't give up for anything, and three wonderful cats. I have a pretty house. There are in fact good things about my life. That whole seeing the forest for the trees thing.
I hold out hope that it will get better. I'm not seeking sympathy here. It's life. It's the life that I (mostly) chose, and it's mostly satisfactory. But it's hard to be truly happy when you don't like the place you're at.
But there's a downside. A very serious downside. A very serious and personal and difficult downside. It's not about money, or space, or the Home Owner's Association or the stress of moving. I hate that someone here thought a political ad that says "Sorry, Charlie. Only Jeb Bush Conservatives get to be governor" was a good idea. It's about being here.
I hate Florida. I hate it a great deal. I hate the weather. I don't like the politics. I don't like the people. I don't like the lifestyle. I just don't like it. It's the best place for
zedrikcayne to be though, in terms of his career and his goals. And in his field, once you get to EA, there aren't many other places to go. I've held out a little bit of hope that Cayne would spend a few years here, in Orlando, and then we'd move on to another division of EA-and there are lots of options; the Bay Area, Vancouver, Montreal and NoVa, just in North America. I can't do that anymore. I can't pretend that this isn't a long term deal. We're here, and we're staying, for the forseable future. And that's really hard for me.
I would like to be in a place I loved, a place where there was a real job market for me, where the things to do were more interesting to me, where I liked the people I met, where the political climate were more to my liking and so on and so on. And I do try to make my own happiness. I just feel very stuck.
We're here. It's not what I'd have chosen for myself. I share my life with a partner I love, and who I wouldn't give up for anything, and three wonderful cats. I have a pretty house. There are in fact good things about my life. That whole seeing the forest for the trees thing.
I hold out hope that it will get better. I'm not seeking sympathy here. It's life. It's the life that I (mostly) chose, and it's mostly satisfactory. But it's hard to be truly happy when you don't like the place you're at.
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If you find yourself hankering for the beach or just a change of scenery for a weekend, and you don't mind a rather gregarious 70 year old Val-dad, his offer's still open.
:hugs: The weather's unlikely to change for the better, I hope you at least manage to find some people to your liking. The politics . . . that might take longer :*( But I suspect that if you wanted to carve out a place where you're happier with the politics . . . you've got the passion and the know-how to make it happen.
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I'm hearing a lot of depression speaking in your post. It's not so much the words about how you're unhappy in Florida and how you dislike Florida, but more so in the words about feeling stuck, like this move is definitely permanent, etc.
I think that sense of place is very important for many people in creating happiness or contentment. It's *really* difficult to find a niche in some places. And it sucks that, for right now, you're in a place that is particularly difficult for you. But you should keep on trying to carve out a place for yourself there.
That being said, I think that not liking a place is a very valid reason to move, whether it be the political bent, the cost of living, the weather, crowding, etc. I think that, in the long run, it is up there with job satisfaction and opportunities.
For now, I think you should support Cayne in his job by living in Florida. But, I also think that the two of you should be continually brainstorming and discussing ways to find a life that, while probably a compromise for each of you, will please each of you as well.
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The permanent bit? That's largely not depression. We're likely to end up fairly settled here, whether I like it or not. Tiburon is a good place for Cayne to be, not only in terms of the company he works for (once you hit EA, your choices, unless you want to go back to start ups or really small, less stable companies, are very limited-Microsoft, Midway, maybe, ActiVision, maybe, and that's about it) but in terms of what opportunities he has for movement within the company. My parents are planning to retire to this area within the next few years...and as weird as my relationship with my mother can be, having her nearby would be really great.
There are very few opportunities for me here. I knew that when I said I'd move here, though I didn't quite realize how bad it would end up. I knew that I'd have to put off school for a while, until I could get in state tuition (which I'm now eligible for) but with moving, there was no way I could consider starting school again this semester. Maybe spring term. But I'm still not able to be in a position to do the kind of research I want to do-that's just not going to happen for quite a while. I'll make it happen becaues it's important, but it's not the right time.
We've talked about leaving here when Cayne's been here long enough, but Cayne really likes it. He likes the weather, he likes the work environment, and we both like being a reasonable (if sometimes pricey) flight from both sets of parents.
I think the longer we're here, the more likely it is to grow on me, but it's understandable that it may not, and we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's not unthinkable that when I have a child, and different social environments, that I may feel more connected-part of what I feel here is probably lack of community, and that's hard no matter where you are.
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But you must knit me.......a shrubbery!
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Balancing two sets of preferences and career goals can be a tricky thing.
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Ditto to what everyone above is saying, plus do little things to keep you happy when it gets to be too much. I stayed in NC for four years and when I had enough, I moved up here. You have to do what you have to do. It sucks, and I completely understand where you're coming from.
The Republican race between Chafee and Laffey is vastly different than what you're hearing on the radio. Laffey's banging the should-be-dead values drum (half-heartedly after a reporter dug up rabid ant-gay articles he wrote for his college newspaper and now is claiming to be a Reagan Republican ::twitch::) while Chafee continues to play the moderate/renegade Republican card.
I'm half rooting for Chafee, because consistently he's voted his conscience in Congress, and maintains a level head and does what's best for the state.
On the other hand, I'm half rooting for Laffey, because unless the world ends tomorrow, he would lose to any Democrat that runs against him. And that means one less Republican seat. Naturally, national Repubs are backing Chafee.
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I do believe Florida grows on you after awhile, though. I've been to the Tampa area umpteen times in the past 15 years to visit family and while I can't say I'd want to live there, it's not all bad, though you know that already.
I say enjoy it while you can, because I don't believe it's necessarily as permanent as it seems. Nothing is, actually.
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It's hard.
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