More breastfeeding stuff. Skip it. Really.

[geminigirl]

My illustrious 68 day parenting career has presented me with the moment where I most felt incompetent today.



I mentioned the other day finding a local milk donor. She's about ten minutes from my house and Naomi and I went over for a visit and milk pick up this afternoon. Naomi was hungry and fussy, and A. the donor nursed her.

And I watched someone else nurse my baby. I know that getting the milk right from the tap is good for Naomi. And I know that it's good for the donor to make a connection with Naomi. I don't mind at all if someone else gives her a bottle. But my goodness, what a moment to feel broken and incompetent...watching someone else nurse my child.

It hurt like nothing else I can think of. And it was the right and best thing, but oh my do I feel awful.

Comments

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

*quiet hugs* I'll spare you the pretty speeches, because that had to hurt like hell. Just have some more *hugs*

[wolfden.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

*hugs so very tight*

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. My heart aches for you.

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

yeah. That would have killed me when I was were you are, too. As a LLL leader, we are taught not to nurse the babies of the mothers we help, not because of disease issues, but because we could make them feel incompetent with our ease, when they are struggling. We are taught to teach them to nurse instead.

If she will latch, why not nurse her yourself, with the SNS? It is a pain to learn, but it is so much better for both of you than bottles, especially emotionally.

[mskathy.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness. I am so sorry! I don't think I would have let someone else nurse Sarah, exactly for this reason. I am not judging you, but I think perhaps you should rethink letting her directly nurse Naomi. For me, that bond is not one that I would have wanted someone else to have, even once. KWIM? Did you plan to let her nurse directly, or did it just come up? *HUGS*

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it hurt you, but I'm glad you're strong enough to do what you feel is the best thing for Naomi, no matter what.

That's amazingly impressive.

[icelore.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But I do congratulate you on doing what is best for the baby, even if it makes it harder on you. You are a wonderful mother and I can't say anything of higher praise to you. It takes such love to put her truly before you.

<3

[jaclyn.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, E.

[alibee.livejournal.com]

I can't even imagine how that felt. I'm so sorry :(

[fairion.livejournal.com]

*hugs* aww sweetie you are not incompetent just slightly broken. Still sad making but in a different way. I have to again second the recommendation for the sns as much of a pain as it is. It gives you a chance to nurse and have that bonding time. And it beats the heck out of pumping.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

ohhhhhhh, I'm sorry. :(

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. I can hardly even imagine how you must have felt.

[vix.livejournal.com]

I am really sorry, but incredibly awed by your strength in being able to do that for her. I don't know if I would be able to be so strong. *hugs*

[puzzld1.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I would have been strong enough to do that. You are her Mama, her one and only perfect for her Mama. Nursing doesn't make a Mama.

[rdhdsnippet.livejournal.com]

One of the "problems" of being a mother for whom nursing comes relatively stress free is that you tend to default to nursing as the panacea for everything because you can. I can see why your donor would rush to do so, but I'm not quite so sure it's something you need to do if it hurts you.

Broken, perhaps, and I know there's a lot of pain in that. But not incompetent.

[xxladyjxx.livejournal.com]

I am crying, reading this. I cannot completely relate, because I have a more than adequate supply, but Isabella will not take my breast. I am hurting with you, though, E.
XO