![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Jun. 16th, 2003 12:47 pmI'm feeling undirected and overwhelmed at the same time...
I've read up on new stuff about microbicides (yay!) and the origins of HIV this morning (interesting stuff about monkeys, but no sex with monkeys as my clients would like to believe.)
Also got a mailing today with an attachment "Alternatives to Pregnancy"-one side has a list of clinics that provide abortions (both medical and surgical) around here. The price for an abortion up to 12 weeks, awake varies quite a bit....from $260-$330. Asleep is all about the same...but close to $200 more. And medical abortions are apparently about $600. Only two places do them. I couldn't come up with $600...hell, I don't know if I could come up with $260 if I needed it. (And there's no forseeable reason that I would need to at the moment anyway.) The other side is adoption related stuff.
Still, lots of stuff to catch up on, and schedules to make. One of my favorite site contacts left, and I'm feeling stranded with that site-I have things scheduled, but no one to confirm or discuss with. I don't like that. I'm left hanging a whole lot right now.
And so busy...the real truth is that I want my free time back. I'm working nights again-Mondays, Thursdays and possibly Fridays again for a good part of the summer, which leaves very little free time, and makes me scramble to do the rest of the things that I need or want to do...
As much as I enjoy this job, I don't enjoy the schedule. I don't enjoy the salary (or lack thereof), and it's frustrating. I'm doing something I love and care about and feel passion for but end up resentful, and that's not healthy. I keep wishing, hoping, thinking it will pass, and it hasn't yet. And maybe it is time for something else, maybe I am stagnating here...but there's all kinds of fear caught up in thinking about moving on, especially when you're in a supportive, and nurturing and caring environment like this one...I'm confused a bit maybe...
I've read up on new stuff about microbicides (yay!) and the origins of HIV this morning (interesting stuff about monkeys, but no sex with monkeys as my clients would like to believe.)
Also got a mailing today with an attachment "Alternatives to Pregnancy"-one side has a list of clinics that provide abortions (both medical and surgical) around here. The price for an abortion up to 12 weeks, awake varies quite a bit....from $260-$330. Asleep is all about the same...but close to $200 more. And medical abortions are apparently about $600. Only two places do them. I couldn't come up with $600...hell, I don't know if I could come up with $260 if I needed it. (And there's no forseeable reason that I would need to at the moment anyway.) The other side is adoption related stuff.
Still, lots of stuff to catch up on, and schedules to make. One of my favorite site contacts left, and I'm feeling stranded with that site-I have things scheduled, but no one to confirm or discuss with. I don't like that. I'm left hanging a whole lot right now.
And so busy...the real truth is that I want my free time back. I'm working nights again-Mondays, Thursdays and possibly Fridays again for a good part of the summer, which leaves very little free time, and makes me scramble to do the rest of the things that I need or want to do...
As much as I enjoy this job, I don't enjoy the schedule. I don't enjoy the salary (or lack thereof), and it's frustrating. I'm doing something I love and care about and feel passion for but end up resentful, and that's not healthy. I keep wishing, hoping, thinking it will pass, and it hasn't yet. And maybe it is time for something else, maybe I am stagnating here...but there's all kinds of fear caught up in thinking about moving on, especially when you're in a supportive, and nurturing and caring environment like this one...I'm confused a bit maybe...
