And She Was...

The post wedding update...

Now that I've filled out my first paperwork with my new name, and we've gotten our official marriage certificate back from the county clerk, I figure, you all need to read the wedding review.

You can read Cayne's review here and FJ!!'s review here.

Mine follows...

( Saturday, the non-rehersal )

( Sunday early )

( The Slurpee Part )

( the ceremony )

( the party )

I seriously don't remember much, it flew by. I tried. And it was over quickly. But what I do remember was wonderful.


All the wedding music can be found here.

These are non-professional photos taken by my sister and her boyfriend before and during the ceremony.

( Wedding photos )

So upset-( ranty story about groomsman here... )

when you're about to get married?

We're not having a formal rehersal, so there's an open-houseish sort of thing planned at my Mom's for members of the bridal party, and a few other family members etc. on Saturday afternoon/evening. And since everyone's at the house, and my bedroom is essentially the way I left it when I moved away after grad school, my room has gotten a pretty thorough cleaning.

Among the things I've found is a pile of old writings by Josh Saitz, who edits Negative Capabilities...I suppose I could track him down and see if he wants any of it. Or I could keep it. I think I'll e-mail him. I have at least one video tape that he'd probably like to have.

And photographs...lots of photographs. Old photos of me, aynjel, points, Peetah (who doesn't have an LJ as far as I know) dieppe and lenniersd (neither one of whom read my journal, but I know that people on my flist know them, and if you could kindly point them at this post, I'd appreciate it.) And other photos from college, of me and Megan (aka Blink)-who I would love to track down, and if anyone reading this has her current e-mail please let me know. I tried to e-mail her before I went to San Francisco, but the mail bounced.

And even more photos...of me and siva_dc and Ava, and cappyhead and shirleym...and and and.

And what do I do with all this stuff? It was amazing the memories it brought back...the feelings that rose up.

I'm incredibly glad that I'm not pining over ex-boyfriends. I looked through the photos and realized how much I've grown and that I really like the person I've grown into. I'm grateful for the memories and experiences preserved in those photos. I'm glad that I've still got some of the same wonderful people in my life who are in those photos, and sad that some of them drifted away.

I like where I'm at. It's not necessarily where I envisioned myself at thirty, but I like where I'm at and where I'm going.

And perhaps if I can get access to a scanner, and permission from people other than me who appear in some of these photos, I'll scan and post them. It might be fun.

It's less than a week to the wedding. I headed out for Mom's last night, leaving Cayne and the kitties home to fend for themselves. It's been a lot of errands and cleaning. We're having everyone here on Saturday evening, since we're not having a formal rehersal, we're having an open house here. I've got to go rent a couple of extra chairs, order some more food, clean, and stuff.

It's strange to be away from Cayne for this long.

There's so much left to do. Not much time to do it. I'd like this week over already-it's hard to wait.

Back to the seating chart. Really...

I'm having a pre-wedding moment. I feel like I should be more stressed about stuff, but I'm not. Still, I picked up my veil and headpiece today and while they're both beautiful, I hate them. I hate putting them on, just like I hate my dress. Or more precisely I hate wearing my dress. None of it feels like me.

This would all make a great deal more sense if I were, say, having issues or second thoughts about getting married, but well, I'm not. I'm all for getting married, and with the move coming and whatnot, in fact, with the move coming so quickly, I almost suggested that we go and get someone to do the legal bit last weekend.

It's not about that particular dress...I just don't think any wedding dress would be any better. I want to feel like myself on the wedding day.

Maybe this is my pre-wedding jitters?

I do write about things other than my dying cat, although that's high on my mind at the moment.

I've had two fantastic bridal showers, one hosted by Mom and my sister, and another hosted by the fabulous aquariumgirl and my dear friend Rachel. Amusingly, the shower at aquariumgirl's home also included a rather detailed discussion and demonstration of cloth diapering. Which not everyone would find amusing, but well, I do. And nearly everyone there was lj-enabled. There wasn't enough time to see everyone I wanted to, but there never is. Plus loads of babytime. The morning of the shower, while there were things to do to get ready, when I offered to help, I was handed the baby and told to go sit on the swing with her. And so I did. She's a sweetie, and really good natured and easy going for a six month old. It did kick my baby desire into high gear, but well, that's a project for some time after the wedding.

The wedding planning is winding down, and that's a good thing. "Rehersal" dinner invites are going out in the morning-we're not having a rehersal, but we will have the bridal party etc over to my parents' the day before. This week is confirming with vendors, and stuff, and bridal party gifts and a few other things.

We saw Revenge of the Sith. I liked it. There were bits that disappointed me, but overall, I liked it. I can't stand Hayden Christensen, and didn't like him anymore in this movie, but well, no more Darth Whiner. And, Cayne is fabulous because he called me at about eight, on Wednesday night to find out if I wanted to go to the movie that night. I sang the Ewok song while we were in line, and he rolled his eyes at me.

There is of course the big giant thing that I'm not allowed to talk about yet...which has taken up a lot of my brain lately. It has nothing to do with having a baby, so don't even think it. But maybe later this summer I'll be able to talk about this thing. It frustrates me, because this is where I'd like to sort it out, and process, but well, I can't. Yet. Soon.

Have you hugged your wookie today?

I'll go pet Miss Oblivion soon, and she'll probably fall asleep on my butt. And give her her medicine, which makes me feel guilty.

My sister is in the hospital, but is recovering. I'm not my sister's biggest fan (in case you didn't already guess that part) but I'm glad she's doing better. It's some kind of bacterial infection or gastrointestinal parasite. They haven't gotten test results back, but they've been treating her with IV fluids, antibiotics and stuff. She should be out Saturday.

We now have a marriage license. We are now legally permitted to get married any time within the next 60 days. Our rabbi says he's fine with signing the civil marriage license. Cayne and I probably ought to play around with some ceremony ideas. We've also finalized (I think) our ketubah, which if you want to see it, I'll post again.

Two doctors appointments, two mild cases of bronchitis (one for each of us) and one ear infection (mine,) two antibiotic prescriptions, one new inhaler. Cayne and I are both sick. And guess what...conflicting information from the doctor and the pharmacist about whether the antibiotic does or doesn't interfere with oral contraceptives. I generally assume it does, because well, better safe than sorry, but I don't like the fact that since I've started asking, I've never once gotten consistent information.

I'm apparently quoted in a new book about bisexuality, Bi American, (thank puzzld1 for the heads up.) The quote that puzzld1 mentioned is about AIDS, but there may be others. I have no idea what I said, so I think I have to buy the book just to find out what I said.

It's time for fruit, drugs and bed, I think. We're both wheezy and coughing.

We've eaten more cream cheese this week than we have since moving in together. Cream cheese on matzo is the yum.

My sister hates her bridesmaid's dress...but she didn't tell me that. She told Mom. She picked it, she had a year to try it on, check it out, and so on...she didn't until the last second...at which point she didn't have time to choose another dress. Not my problem. I let her choose the color. Though I did say to Mom that she hates it, and she says it looks terrible because it's not short enough, tight enough or skin-baring enough.

Next major wedding project is wedding rings...I'm trying to figure out what I actually want. We've agreed yellow gold, and plain.

One would think...

that before ordering the invitations for the wedding, there would be a pretty solid idea of how many are needed.

Unless you're my Mom, and you tell me to order 150 invitations, only to discover that the guest list is closer to 175. I'll call the invite place tomorrow and order another 25 and pay an arm and a leg for them...immediate family will get theirs a bit later than everyone else.

At least my dress came in...a month early. Mom won't make it to my first fitting with me, so I need to see if someone around here can make it to Paramus for it. I'll probably ask LJ-less Patty to go.