And She Was...

So frustrating, lately, trying to figure food out.

I started the thyroid meds almost two months ago, and started having blood sugar crashing symptoms, like I did when I first started the metformin and made poor food choices, only I wasn't making the same mistakes I'd made when I first started the metformin, I was eating in a way that had been working for me for months. Patient information for Synthroid says that you may need to adjust upwards the dose of blood sugar controlling meds. No big deal, after some back and forth with the doctor's office, he raised the dose. And I felt fine, for about two weeks. Suddenly, this week, I'm incredibly hungry. I'm eating sensibly, even though Cayne's working late, which, in the past has meant I sometimes get lazy about food. But this week, I'm eating the same things I've been eating for weeks, and I'm ending up hungry and headachey two hours after supper. I had a snack of fruit and cheese, which should have been sufficient, and I'm still hungry and headachey. It's not bored-hungry either, it's genuine hungry, which is so incredibly frustrating. I want to go to bed, but if I don't eat something, I'll wake up shaking with low blood sugar.

At least there's orange juice in the house for when that happens.

We went to deal with giving the third semen sample today. And, when we were locked in the bathroom, ( (or so we thought) )

It's 52 degress F (11 degrees c) outside. Which isn't exactly cold in most places but is cold here. Apparently, there was ice this morning, and they expect more tonight or tomorrow morning because they were just explaining how to drive on slick roads. And we're not talking about a lot of ice, either.

I also feel like the worst wife in the world this morning. It's not my story to tell here on LJ, but it's zedrikcayne's story, and it involves the semen sample. But I feel terribly guilty about it.

I sort of missed National Coming Out Day. I'm queer. It's not very exciting. What's your secret?

I think I have PMS. Which, while it's irritating, is also making me very happy. Salty food cravings, chocolate cravings, serious modiness and extra sweatiness. I also think I ovulated this month. I seem to have had all the right symptoms, including a temperature spike, but I admit, I've been less consistent about taking my temperature in the morning than I have in previous cycles. Most of itis due to not sleeping well -when I don't get a three hour block of sleep, I can't get an accurate temperature, and sometimes, the three hour block involves getting up between five and six in the morning to pee, and that is completely off from when my usual temperature taking time is. Some of it is just not stressing over it. As much as I would like to jump right back in to trying to have a baby, restraint is a good thing here. Making sure the meds are working, figuring out how I feel on the meds, that's important. A few more weeks isn't unreasonable.

The meds-I feel good, I had fewer side effects adjusting than I expected, but I'm just not hungry a lot of the time, and it's hard to eat just to take the meds. It doesn't have to be a lot, but it does have to be the right combination of protein/carbs in order to not get sick, and in order to not wake up feeling like I'll faint. I made that error once, fortunately on a weekend when Cayne was here, but I made a food mistake, went and took a nap, and woke up feeling not right, and hollered for Cayne to bring me juice. After which I felt a lot better. It was a scary moment though to wake up disoriented and dizzy like that. I find it very hard to get four doses in a day, but I'm doing the best I can.

Cayne's CPAP arrived on Monday. He's spending a few more nights on the futon, to get settled with it. The first night he used it, I kept getting up to check on him. The silence is spooky after two years of snoring. The bed will also probably be very warm with another body in it, too.

I am questioning my involvement in something. I'm not sure it's healthy, and sometimes I find it downright energy sucking.

aquariumgirl arrives Friday night for the weekend. This is very exciting. It's our first baby-free visit in two years. :) We'll spend some time at Disneyworld/Epcot (which is extra cool cause it's the Food and Wine festival) and hang out and enjoy our visit. It's likely to be the last baby free visit for quite a while, again. :) (Baby 2 is due in January, in case I haven't mentioned that.)

I'm being asked to participate in something I have strong objections to. I haven't decided how to respond. I haven't decided if the strength of my objections is magnified by the emotional impact PMS tends to have on me, or if they really are that strong, nor have I decided exactly how to respond.

I've had this non-productive cough that won't go away. It probably doesn't help that I'm not taking any asthma meds (and have felt fine up until recently.) It doesn't feel like bronchitis, but Cayne suggested that it might be. I may have to go get it checked out if it doesn't go away soon.

Stressing over money and car stuff. We've been putting off replacing Cayne's car, but it's coming closer and closer to time. Today we replaced the heater core, which cost us quite a bit-more than I'd have wanted to put into the car at this point. We're trying to put off car buying for at least six more months-a year would be better, because we'd be able to find a 2007 something, off a lease. Mom suggested perhaps talking to their car guy, Mike, who might be able to find us what we're looking for (ideally, a small station wagon type vehicle, if not, something larger than what we've got now) and/or cut us a deal on whatever we do buy. That would involve driving back from up there-potentially fun and with time to visit with friends along the way.

New cell phones are on the high priority list of things to do; Cingular is dropping analog coverage and going to all GSM, which means Cayne is having huge gaps in where he has signal. We'll drop Cingular and go all Verizon with a family plan of some sort before the end of this month-Verizon has a plan that covers us in Canada, and Cingular didn't when I last checked. When we get them, I'll pass along new contact info.

It's almost half past three. I should go to bed, in order to wake up and take my temperature soon. I just can't seem to shut my brain off.

Dolphin needs a prosthetic tail. I think that's way cool, and might check out the donation information. The phone number is in the article.

In other news, I came home from today's doctor's appointment with a diagnosis of PCOS and a prescription for Metformin. Which is exactly what I wanted, sort of. It's good to have an answer, and it's been evident for years that PCOS was the probable cause, but there's the process of getting used to taking the medication, and the side effects, and learning how to deal with taking meds four times a day. (I know there are other ways to take it, but for now, this is what the doctor wants me to do.) The upside, however is that the doctor said "Go off the pill. It's not suppressing your cyst much if you've had two ruptures in the last couple of months. You'll probably drop weight faster if you're off the pill, and have better response to the Metformin. If you get pregnant before I see you again in January, that's fine...I'd like it if you would wait til March, but if it happens before then, it's okay. You can use any other contraceptive method you want..condoms, rhythm method. You need to keep good track of your cycles, you may want to use an OPK [ovulation predictor kit] and if you start trying in March, and you don't have success in a few cycles, or you're not ovulating, we'll talk about adding other things like Clomid."

So, what this means is that we're going to decide if and when we're ready to try again for a baby. And there's a lot of stuff to deal with there. And it also means I'm likely to create a PCOS filter, so as not to bore most of you who aren't interested in what's going on with my ovaries.

It also means that I've been told that I will probably feel very sick for at least a month as I go on the new medication, and ramp the dose up to the level that the doctor wants me at.