geminigirl: (Fertility)
"Apparently, as a healthy, successful woman in her 30's, I don't deserve to have a baby. Maybe I'd have a fighting chance if I were gay, or a teenager, or a member of the AARP."

Kate Walsh as Addison Montgomery on Grey's Anatomy

Eat Me!

May. 2nd, 2007 01:32 am
geminigirl: (Brownie)
So frustrating, lately, trying to figure food out.

I started the thyroid meds almost two months ago, and started having blood sugar crashing symptoms, like I did when I first started the metformin and made poor food choices, only I wasn't making the same mistakes I'd made when I first started the metformin, I was eating in a way that had been working for me for months. Patient information for Synthroid says that you may need to adjust upwards the dose of blood sugar controlling meds. No big deal, after some back and forth with the doctor's office, he raised the dose. And I felt fine, for about two weeks. Suddenly, this week, I'm incredibly hungry. I'm eating sensibly, even though Cayne's working late, which, in the past has meant I sometimes get lazy about food. But this week, I'm eating the same things I've been eating for weeks, and I'm ending up hungry and headachey two hours after supper. I had a snack of fruit and cheese, which should have been sufficient, and I'm still hungry and headachey. It's not bored-hungry either, it's genuine hungry, which is so incredibly frustrating. I want to go to bed, but if I don't eat something, I'll wake up shaking with low blood sugar.

At least there's orange juice in the house for when that happens.
geminigirl: (Default)
Cayne moved back into the bedroom. It's interesting to sleep in the same bed again after so many months (really years, probably) of sleeping apart. It's nice, too, mostly. I'm a little warmer, with someone next to me, but it's nice too, for spontaneous kissing and stuff, which wasn't really possible when we were in separate beds. He still makes little gurgly snoring noises sometimes, while he's sleeping with the CPAP, and that's not always easy to sleep through. And it's really annoying when the he/the CPAP exhales really cold air onto my arm at night. But I'll live with that if it means I get to cuddle with him sometimes.

I feel like things are a blur of immigration and doctor's appointments lately. I spent a few days trying to get together the information to go to the Clerk of Courts in Clinton County to get the disposition of arrest certificate. Monday is a follow up with the urologist again. I need to reschedule my doctor's appointment for 4/10-they called me today to tell me Dr P won't be in the office that day.


We were at the art show on Sunday. Bought two photos, put a deposit on a third, and there's a fourth one I need to buy as soon as we have the money for it in the budget. I nearly had a heart attack today though, when I looked at the checking account, and discovered that there was a $300 hold on the check card from XM Radio. Cayne's XM subscription was about to expire, and I told him to switch the billing to quarterly for a while, because I didn't want to drop that amount of money all at once, even though in the long run we'll pay a little more. I'm just glad that December/January/February are over. Between my accounting error that made things tight, plus major expenses (car repair, registering both cars, and an immigration physical) things were far more squishy than I like. Plus, we paid off a bill in March (they claimed they had to replace the carpet in our old apartment, so I made an arrangement to pay their charge in installments) which puts a little money back into our budget.

I can't believe we're getting ready for this weekend already. Lots of plans, too-stuff to do at home, plus a "buy this stuff" party on Saturday morning and a munch on Saturday afternoon. This is our last weekend before Crunch too, which means I want to cram in as much Cayne time as possible, so I did a bunch of usual-weekend-chores yesterday, and I'll do some more tomorrow, I think. I also may go pick up two pairs of knitting needles in sizes I don't own, and some more row and stitch counters, and go to Pier 1 to pick up some other stuff.

Can't figure out what to do for Cayne's birthday. Some of his birthday gift arrived today, from Canada. Sadly, it was damaged in transit, so he'll get it when he gets home tonight.

I've had odd pain lately. Not odd so much that I haven't experienced it before, but odd in that "it's normal but I haven't had it in a while. My right shoulder, both wrists, and my left shoulder. Not sure that there's anything much to do about it, it is what it is. Probably worth a chiropractor visit soon if I can find one.

and since I chronicle health stuff here anyway )
geminigirl: (Sperm)
We went to deal with giving the third semen sample today. And, when we were locked in the bathroom, (or so we thought) )
geminigirl: (Porn Stars)
The background: PCOS is a fertility issue in many ways, and so, in order to determine the best course of treatment, and how much intervention, we're going through a lot of the usual fertility screening stuff. This is a bit awkward and invasive, but it's what we need to do. This meant that [livejournal.com profile] zedrikcayne had to go for a semen analysis, and upon recieving the results, had a visit with the urologist who ordered a second semen analysis and some other tests. The urologist (who told us that he and his wife have gone through their own fertility issues) explained that many times, men who go for semen analysis are so uncomfortable with the whole situation, and find it sterile and distressing, and so the first sample is not always an accurate measure of things. And he also suggested that [livejournal.com profile] zedrikcayne "bring some pornograhpy" because that often helps encourage a proper count.

So, last night, I tried to figure out how to find an adult store, without getting a screen full of porn, since that's not what I was looking for, and toay we paid a visit to our local porn store.

not particularly explicit, but sexually oriented discussion follows this cut tag. )

A question: Can anyone explain to me, why is it, that porn that includes women having sex with women,as well has men having sex with women, doesn't get classified as bisexual, but as soon as it involves action between two men, it automatically becomes "bisexual"? It doesn't make sense. I understand the idea of marketing, and that the largest consumers of porn are men who don't want to see men having sex with men, but it just seems silly.

I've got a post brewing about sex, and marriage, and polyamory and kinky stuff. It's not likely to be explicit content, but just chatter and processing and that sort of thing. I've got some filters that this post may appropriately overlap to, but if you think you might like to read it, let me know. I could certainly use the feedback and space to discuss it, but it's not something that I think belongs as public.
geminigirl: (Snow)
It's 52 degress F (11 degrees c) outside. Which isn't exactly cold in most places but is cold here. Apparently, there was ice this morning, and they expect more tonight or tomorrow morning because they were just explaining how to drive on slick roads. And we're not talking about a lot of ice, either.

I also feel like the worst wife in the world this morning. It's not my story to tell here on LJ, but it's [livejournal.com profile] zedrikcayne's story, and it involves the semen sample. But I feel terribly guilty about it.

In a Cup

Jan. 15th, 2007 07:47 pm
geminigirl: (Gonzo Whatever)
My life is ridiculous. I cried at Cookie Monster today. (For Muppet fans, it was the song where he talks about the first time he had cookies. And he tells you what his name was before it was Cookie.)

I also spent quite a bit of time figuring out how one goes for semen analysis (beyond the obvious basics.) Dr P recommended that [livejournal.com profile] zedrikcayne goes for one, just to make sure there are no problems on that end of things. In the discussion I had with Dr P about it, he explained that they used to allow men to give the sample at home, but they were finding that by the time the sample arrived at the hospital, the sample was no longer useful. So Dr P explained, that they now requied men to go to the lab and "give a sample by masturbation" which he accompanied with the hand gesture usually associated with male masturbation. I had to stiffle a giggle at that one. Other than telling me I was smart, referring me to an endocrinologist (I'll make that appointment after I get the results from the bloodwork that he did on Thursday) and telling me to schedule an ultrasound for when I expect to be ovulating, he said if Cayne is all clear, and I'm not pregnant by April, we'll talk about drugs. I have mixed feelings about that, and might make another wide-audience post about that later.

I'm feeling very tired, and blah. Cayne is fixing his computer right now, and I should make something to eat, but I have no energy to do that. We'll see what he wants to do when he's finished with the machine.

Core Dump

Oct. 12th, 2006 03:20 am
geminigirl: (N'est Pas Un Blog)
I sort of missed National Coming Out Day. I'm queer. It's not very exciting. What's your secret?

I think I have PMS. Which, while it's irritating, is also making me very happy. Salty food cravings, chocolate cravings, serious modiness and extra sweatiness. I also think I ovulated this month. I seem to have had all the right symptoms, including a temperature spike, but I admit, I've been less consistent about taking my temperature in the morning than I have in previous cycles. Most of itis due to not sleeping well -when I don't get a three hour block of sleep, I can't get an accurate temperature, and sometimes, the three hour block involves getting up between five and six in the morning to pee, and that is completely off from when my usual temperature taking time is. Some of it is just not stressing over it. As much as I would like to jump right back in to trying to have a baby, restraint is a good thing here. Making sure the meds are working, figuring out how I feel on the meds, that's important. A few more weeks isn't unreasonable.

The meds-I feel good, I had fewer side effects adjusting than I expected, but I'm just not hungry a lot of the time, and it's hard to eat just to take the meds. It doesn't have to be a lot, but it does have to be the right combination of protein/carbs in order to not get sick, and in order to not wake up feeling like I'll faint. I made that error once, fortunately on a weekend when Cayne was here, but I made a food mistake, went and took a nap, and woke up feeling not right, and hollered for Cayne to bring me juice. After which I felt a lot better. It was a scary moment though to wake up disoriented and dizzy like that. I find it very hard to get four doses in a day, but I'm doing the best I can.

Cayne's CPAP arrived on Monday. He's spending a few more nights on the futon, to get settled with it. The first night he used it, I kept getting up to check on him. The silence is spooky after two years of snoring. The bed will also probably be very warm with another body in it, too.

I am questioning my involvement in something. I'm not sure it's healthy, and sometimes I find it downright energy sucking.

[livejournal.com profile] aquariumgirl arrives Friday night for the weekend. This is very exciting. It's our first baby-free visit in two years. :) We'll spend some time at Disneyworld/Epcot (which is extra cool cause it's the Food and Wine festival) and hang out and enjoy our visit. It's likely to be the last baby free visit for quite a while, again. :) (Baby 2 is due in January, in case I haven't mentioned that.)

I'm being asked to participate in something I have strong objections to. I haven't decided how to respond. I haven't decided if the strength of my objections is magnified by the emotional impact PMS tends to have on me, or if they really are that strong, nor have I decided exactly how to respond.

I've had this non-productive cough that won't go away. It probably doesn't help that I'm not taking any asthma meds (and have felt fine up until recently.) It doesn't feel like bronchitis, but Cayne suggested that it might be. I may have to go get it checked out if it doesn't go away soon.

Stressing over money and car stuff. We've been putting off replacing Cayne's car, but it's coming closer and closer to time. Today we replaced the heater core, which cost us quite a bit-more than I'd have wanted to put into the car at this point. We're trying to put off car buying for at least six more months-a year would be better, because we'd be able to find a 2007 something, off a lease. Mom suggested perhaps talking to their car guy, Mike, who might be able to find us what we're looking for (ideally, a small station wagon type vehicle, if not, something larger than what we've got now) and/or cut us a deal on whatever we do buy. That would involve driving back from up there-potentially fun and with time to visit with friends along the way.

New cell phones are on the high priority list of things to do; Cingular is dropping analog coverage and going to all GSM, which means Cayne is having huge gaps in where he has signal. We'll drop Cingular and go all Verizon with a family plan of some sort before the end of this month-Verizon has a plan that covers us in Canada, and Cingular didn't when I last checked. When we get them, I'll pass along new contact info.

It's almost half past three. I should go to bed, in order to wake up and take my temperature soon. I just can't seem to shut my brain off.
geminigirl: (Grey's Anatomy Vagina Quote)
Dolphin needs a prosthetic tail. I think that's way cool, and might check out the donation information. The phone number is in the article.

In other news, I came home from today's doctor's appointment with a diagnosis of PCOS and a prescription for Metformin. Which is exactly what I wanted, sort of. It's good to have an answer, and it's been evident for years that PCOS was the probable cause, but there's the process of getting used to taking the medication, and the side effects, and learning how to deal with taking meds four times a day. (I know there are other ways to take it, but for now, this is what the doctor wants me to do.) The upside, however is that the doctor said "Go off the pill. It's not suppressing your cyst much if you've had two ruptures in the last couple of months. You'll probably drop weight faster if you're off the pill, and have better response to the Metformin. If you get pregnant before I see you again in January, that's fine...I'd like it if you would wait til March, but if it happens before then, it's okay. You can use any other contraceptive method you want..condoms, rhythm method. You need to keep good track of your cycles, you may want to use an OPK [ovulation predictor kit] and if you start trying in March, and you don't have success in a few cycles, or you're not ovulating, we'll talk about adding other things like Clomid."

So, what this means is that we're going to decide if and when we're ready to try again for a baby. And there's a lot of stuff to deal with there. And it also means I'm likely to create a PCOS filter, so as not to bore most of you who aren't interested in what's going on with my ovaries.

It also means that I've been told that I will probably feel very sick for at least a month as I go on the new medication, and ramp the dose up to the level that the doctor wants me at.

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