(no subject)

My Dad is going to die. I'm getting on a plane in a few hours to say good bye, I suppose. He fell down the stairs, and has a head injury and he's gone. I think my mother is just waiting for the children (who are scattered around the country right now) to get there before taking any action like removing the breathing tube unless he passes naturally before then. I mean, he's not been right in his head for several years, and they recently diagnosed him with progressive supranuclear palsy, and in a way I've made peace with that part being gone but not having his physical presence is different. No more days of 10 phone calls trying to figure out what my mother's phone number or my sister's birthday is. No more stories where he tells me how much nachas my children bring him.

My father is going to die. And I don't know what to do. And I have no one to watch the kids while we do all the funeral stuff and to take them home instead of the cemetary.

And I don't know how to take care of my mother.