(no subject)

[geminigirl]

The more I think about the idea of getting married, the scarrier it is. I'm not coasting into this, as sudden as it seems. What matters though, (other than everyone reminding me that it is indeed perfectly normal to feel the way I do) is that when I think about how scared I am, the thought that follows it is about how I want to curl up with zedrikcayne and talk about it, and work it out, not run away from the fear. That to me says something about where things are going.

That said, contemplating life away from aquariumgirl is equally scary. She's been a fixture in my life for the last three years, spending time together nearly every week. She's so different from me, and yet so complementary. Being apart will be difficult, and the thought of leaving is very sad.

But I am going through with this...I signed a new lease on my place yesterday, an eight month lease. Eight months. That means that some time in October, I'll leave Virginia. Virginia, where I made my home, where I found my friends and chose my family. Where I grew and learned and changed, and found things in myself. It will be hard to leave here, to leave the apartment that I called my own, with Beta and Oblivion. Where I spent time healing and discovering me. And I'll embark on a new journey, but leaving pieces behind. It's never easy when life changes. I'm glad for everything I've had here, and for the people in my life.

I'm no longer amused by answering "to a guy or a girl?" I haven't told one of my dearest friends about the engagement, because I don't know how. I'll probably call her this week to let her know.

Sleep is not going well. And not sleeping well for days on end means we engage in the caffeine cycle...no sleep->caffeine to stay awake->hard to sleep the next night. I think I managed 3.5 hours last night.

I apparently lose my barfind rights over the cuteness of quillon and roosterbear as of next week. At least that's what they told me on the phone on Saturday.

Comments

[lovingboth]

But it is scary! Anyone for whom marriage isn't probably hasn't thought it through properly. But your reaction to it is indeed a good sign.

It's a sign of how far things have moved that they'd even think of asking!

Re:

[geminigirl]

It's hugely scary. I'm feeling good about it. I'd be worried if I wasn't scared.

And I'd be surprised if some people didn't ask about the gender of my partner.