(no subject)

[geminigirl]

Mom is incredibly lukewarm on the whole getting married thing. I'm not sure why. She keeps asking if I'm sure this is it, if I really want to be doing this, and so on. It's not a bad thing for her to be checking in, but I don't know why

In contrast, my sister has gotten Mom, and me, and herself subscriptions to a couple of bridal magazines. My sister and I don't always get along, but I appreciate her doing that. Mom is convinced that she'll be getting engaged sometime in the not too distant future, too. I don't know her current boyfriend all that well, but he seems like an okay guy. He fit in well with my family when I have met him, although I know that it tweaks Mom that he's Catholic and practicing, and she sees this as the source of future conflicts.

The job situation is what it is. I'm fed up here, and stressed and so on, but at the same time, worried about finding something in New Jersey. It helps that I've got the negotiation skills workshop to plan, and that I got a call today from one of my sites, which starts next month, asking me to please make sure that I work with them particularly on female to female transmission. (This is interesting to do, but at the same time, I come from a very behavioral perspective on this...it's not who you do, but what you do that puts you at risk or not.) A lead from yesthattom (yay for networking) may turn out to be promising. Still, it's stressful. My life is feeling very unsettled at the moment, so it makes everything that much more stressful.

It really is unsettling to be making so many major life changes, in what feels like a short time. I'm not unhappy about any of them, but worried about making everything come together. Feeling like things are out of control is a feeling I really am unhappy about, unless it's a feeling I'm choosing to pursue. (I think that made sense.) And right now, I feel like so many things are beyond my control. The parts of my body that react to stress are doing their usual reacting.

Admittedly, there are good people in my life who are helping to keep me grounded, and to remember that no matter what, things will somehow work out. I love that.

Comments

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

It's a mom thing. My mom checked in almost daily until she finally met Scott and got to size him up for herself. She still makes a comment here and there, but she's no longer asking "Are you happy? Are you sure you're happy? Are you SURE you're sure?" Hardly anyone is good enough for a mom's little girl.

[geminigirl]

I'm so glad to be reassured that it's normal. It's driving me nuts. And it's in stark contrast to her badgering about having kids. At least this has halted that for a short time.

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

Yeah and ditto! There's been NO mention of kids in almost a year. Some trade-off, huh?

[geminigirl]

Amazing.

But there's so much else to stress about now. And it's already started.

[zedrikcayne.livejournal.com]

So, you want me to go and meet your parents this month? I'm sure I can go and visit and run into them without you there.

[yix.livejournal.com]

My mom never did seem to get really excited. I suspect it had to do with the fact that she knew it was going to be stressful. Happy for me, but really muted.

[melebeth]

It might also be because you're marrying a guy she's never met and, I imagine, never (or only barely) heard about before you announced that you were getting engaged. Which might make her think that this was a rash decision - not something moms like to think when their baby girls are getting hitched for life.

[geminigirl]

It's a really sweet offer, but I think I can put up with Mom for another eight weeks.

Really, really sweet. Thank you.

[geminigirl]

That does make a lot of sense. Although, at the same time, it's the constant questioning that makes me feel uncomfortable.

[nadeera.livejournal.com]

My mom warmed up to Bill fairly quickly but it had a lot to do with how I introduced him to her on the second day we'd met. She was so nervous for him that she teases me to this day about putting poor Bill in such a nervous situation. But as much as she adored him, she did check in with me a lot to see if I was happy.

My dad was fairly lukewarm and I think sometimes still is!

Marriage is a BIG deal and in many ways it is the unequivocal "my little girl is all grown up".