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geminigirlI'm feeling very blue today. I'm not sure if it's the weather (grey and rainy, alternating with bright, sunny and hot) or hormones (off the pill about two weeks) or something else.
Maybe it's the fact that it's almost October, and I want to be drinking hot tea, and pulling out my favorite sweaters and watching the leaves change colors, not drinking sweet tea, being cranky because none of the stores carry shorts down here at this time of year and it's silly to carry wool sweaters when there's not much need unless one is travelling, and thinking that it might finally get to be cool enough to enjoy our back yard.
I'm feeling like a bad poly-partner lately, or a bad social worker, or both. I'm not sure which. And I might write a filtered post about that later. It involves relationships, neither of which are/were mine...although the result of one did have quite an impact on my life, it wasn't anything that I did, and that lesson took a long time to realize.
Our new kitchen table arrived last weekend. It's not the table I wanted, but it will do. It's nice enough.
My in laws are coming at the end of October. I don't complain much about them, because generally we're all fine together, but they're irritating me with this trip. We invited them for our housewarming (which is October 28, in case anyone wants to come) and they said they were coming. Only now they want to come on the 25th and leave on the 28th, so somehow, in the middle of prepping for our first big party, they're going to be here, and while they're content to just sort of hang around and relax, it also means figuring out things like taking them to the airport on the morning of the party, when we really need to be here getting ready for things. I need to start sorting out the menu-if I need to try out any new recipies, I have time to do it.
And then there's my Mom. Who just took in five ferral kittens, bringing the current total in the house up to eighteen. I think she'll give at least two of them away, possibly three depending on how much she can socialize one who has been giving her trouble. But that's not what's weighing on my mind. Mom, as much as she wants grandchildren has been pushing me to wait. She's doing it because she's worried about my health, which is fine and reasonable and all that, but, at the same time, I saw the doctor at the beginning of September, I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to be, and no matter how firmly I say to her, "thank you for your concern, I'll take it under advisement, but the doctor seems to think it's fine" she won't be convinced, and the more firm I am about it, the more I stand up to her, the harder she pushes, and the more she tries to start a disagreement. She has a hard time respecting the boundaries I set about my life, and that's uncomfortable for me. I'll keep setting limits as best I can, and if it results in fighting with my mother, so be it. We'll fight, I'll get upset, and rant about it, I'll cool off for a few days, she'll cool off for a few days, and we'll apologize. It's not the cycle I'd like to be in, but conflict resolution in a calm and rational manner is not the way my mother deals with me, no matter how much I try. It's not what I'd deem unhealthy for me right now, but it's not the way I'd like to conduct things. I think she's gotten better since I got married, though.
I've been on the metformin for a couple of weeks now and have been discovering the foods that it makes it hard to eat (white bread and potatoes, so far, though there are others that I've been afraid to try and eat because I'm not sure I want to deal with the insane sleepiness coupled with the yucky low blood sugar feeling that sometimes comes with making mistakes.) I'm not willing to give up entirely white bread or potatoes, but I'll have to be extra careful about when I choose to eat them. Despite some minor food issues, I feel incredible. I feel better than I have in a couple of years.
Money of course stresses me out. We're getting new cell phones shortly, which means figuring out what to spend and what I need/want in a phone. Cayne will choose the phone most like his current Nokia brick that he can put his own ringtones on. I'm not sure what I want, whether I want a Treo or something similar, or something simpler. (We'll get the phones from Verizon Wireless, because they have a plan that's reasonable for calling to, and in Canada, so if you want to make phone suggestions for either of us, go for it.)
And, we're getting to the point where purchasing a car is becoming iminent. We're hoping to hold out at least til tax time, and see what we can put together for a downpayment then. It's quite complicated to figure out what we can afford, what we want, what makes sense. What we want is something larger than what we drive now in a TBD affordable price range (monthly payment plus insurance) that will fit car seats easily, and is comfortable for both of us to drive. What I'd like is something smaller than the Impala wagons that my Mom drove until I was in college, but that still has station wagon or minivan type cargo space.
Maybe Cayne will do the taco dance when he gets home, and cheer me up.
Maybe it's the fact that it's almost October, and I want to be drinking hot tea, and pulling out my favorite sweaters and watching the leaves change colors, not drinking sweet tea, being cranky because none of the stores carry shorts down here at this time of year and it's silly to carry wool sweaters when there's not much need unless one is travelling, and thinking that it might finally get to be cool enough to enjoy our back yard.
I'm feeling like a bad poly-partner lately, or a bad social worker, or both. I'm not sure which. And I might write a filtered post about that later. It involves relationships, neither of which are/were mine...although the result of one did have quite an impact on my life, it wasn't anything that I did, and that lesson took a long time to realize.
Our new kitchen table arrived last weekend. It's not the table I wanted, but it will do. It's nice enough.
My in laws are coming at the end of October. I don't complain much about them, because generally we're all fine together, but they're irritating me with this trip. We invited them for our housewarming (which is October 28, in case anyone wants to come) and they said they were coming. Only now they want to come on the 25th and leave on the 28th, so somehow, in the middle of prepping for our first big party, they're going to be here, and while they're content to just sort of hang around and relax, it also means figuring out things like taking them to the airport on the morning of the party, when we really need to be here getting ready for things. I need to start sorting out the menu-if I need to try out any new recipies, I have time to do it.
And then there's my Mom. Who just took in five ferral kittens, bringing the current total in the house up to eighteen. I think she'll give at least two of them away, possibly three depending on how much she can socialize one who has been giving her trouble. But that's not what's weighing on my mind. Mom, as much as she wants grandchildren has been pushing me to wait. She's doing it because she's worried about my health, which is fine and reasonable and all that, but, at the same time, I saw the doctor at the beginning of September, I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to be, and no matter how firmly I say to her, "thank you for your concern, I'll take it under advisement, but the doctor seems to think it's fine" she won't be convinced, and the more firm I am about it, the more I stand up to her, the harder she pushes, and the more she tries to start a disagreement. She has a hard time respecting the boundaries I set about my life, and that's uncomfortable for me. I'll keep setting limits as best I can, and if it results in fighting with my mother, so be it. We'll fight, I'll get upset, and rant about it, I'll cool off for a few days, she'll cool off for a few days, and we'll apologize. It's not the cycle I'd like to be in, but conflict resolution in a calm and rational manner is not the way my mother deals with me, no matter how much I try. It's not what I'd deem unhealthy for me right now, but it's not the way I'd like to conduct things. I think she's gotten better since I got married, though.
I've been on the metformin for a couple of weeks now and have been discovering the foods that it makes it hard to eat (white bread and potatoes, so far, though there are others that I've been afraid to try and eat because I'm not sure I want to deal with the insane sleepiness coupled with the yucky low blood sugar feeling that sometimes comes with making mistakes.) I'm not willing to give up entirely white bread or potatoes, but I'll have to be extra careful about when I choose to eat them. Despite some minor food issues, I feel incredible. I feel better than I have in a couple of years.
Money of course stresses me out. We're getting new cell phones shortly, which means figuring out what to spend and what I need/want in a phone. Cayne will choose the phone most like his current Nokia brick that he can put his own ringtones on. I'm not sure what I want, whether I want a Treo or something similar, or something simpler. (We'll get the phones from Verizon Wireless, because they have a plan that's reasonable for calling to, and in Canada, so if you want to make phone suggestions for either of us, go for it.)
And, we're getting to the point where purchasing a car is becoming iminent. We're hoping to hold out at least til tax time, and see what we can put together for a downpayment then. It's quite complicated to figure out what we can afford, what we want, what makes sense. What we want is something larger than what we drive now in a TBD affordable price range (monthly payment plus insurance) that will fit car seats easily, and is comfortable for both of us to drive. What I'd like is something smaller than the Impala wagons that my Mom drove until I was in college, but that still has station wagon or minivan type cargo space.
Maybe Cayne will do the taco dance when he gets home, and cheer me up.
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