(no subject)
Jun. 19th, 2008 10:20 pmMy father's birthday was today. We celebrated a little while he and Mom were visiting over the weekend...it was a pleasant, small celebration. He'd requested no gifts this year, claiming he was overwhelmed last year, when he turned 70. Admittedly, we did go all out, catering to some of his favorite things-a ride in a World War II airplane and a subscription to the scotch of the month club. I didn't exactly abide by this, and presented him with a few tokens...picture frames proclaiming his status as grandfather. When I apologized for violating the "no gifts" request, telling him I'd purchased the items before his request and hadn't felt like trekking back to the store to return them with the baby in tow, he got choked up, looked at me and said "Those aren't presents. Those are rewards."
We had a nice visit with my parents. Not too long. We spent Saturday in Boynton Beach at my aunt and uncle's house, visiting with family. Sunday we spent looking at kitchens and visiting. Monday we hung out at our house-we'd planned on a trip to Ikea, but Naomi was having none of that, and cried and cried for several hours. She's had these unpleasant, late afternoon crying fits a few times-today included. They seem to be gas-related, but they're so hard to listen to, and it's even worse cause there's nothing I can really do about it until it passes. Some of the late afternoon fuss seems to coincide with our late afternoon storms, too. She's also rearranging her sleep schedule right now, too, and sleeping for a longer stretch during the night...which is both nice and frustrating all at once. If her long stretch was more compatible with my sleep pattern...ah well.
I'm really anxious for my mei tai to get here. I think she's strong enough to be in it without it covering her head, and since that's what makes her fuss in the other carriers we have right now, that might solve the baby carrier problem.
Thank you for your love and support the other day. I look at that decision as one more in a line of decisions that I have to make that are best for Naomi but that may be painful for me. I have mixed feeings on whether or not to keep flogging the breastfeeding thing. My first goal was six weeks, and we met that. The next was "Until it's time to order more domperidone" and we're getting to that point. I'm just not sure about the sensibility of continuing-what's it doing to my relationship with Naomi, what's it doing to my mental health, to my relationship with Cayne and all that. There's also the financial cost-the cost per ounce of breast milk here is tremendous, considering how many pills I swallow to make the puny supply I do.
It's almost time to start shopping for new diapers-gotta start thinking about what I want for medium sized diapers. I have some pre-folds...probably need some more, but then I need to figure out what to get for quick-change diapers. I do kind of enjoy the shopping part. I have some things to exchange, too for Naomi-I was given a few things that are cute but totally impractical, and it's just not worth keeping them when I can exchange them for things she might actually be able to wear. Seriously-outfits without crotch snaps are a nuisance.
It's late. Time for bed; gotta get up with the baby in the middle of the night.
We had a nice visit with my parents. Not too long. We spent Saturday in Boynton Beach at my aunt and uncle's house, visiting with family. Sunday we spent looking at kitchens and visiting. Monday we hung out at our house-we'd planned on a trip to Ikea, but Naomi was having none of that, and cried and cried for several hours. She's had these unpleasant, late afternoon crying fits a few times-today included. They seem to be gas-related, but they're so hard to listen to, and it's even worse cause there's nothing I can really do about it until it passes. Some of the late afternoon fuss seems to coincide with our late afternoon storms, too. She's also rearranging her sleep schedule right now, too, and sleeping for a longer stretch during the night...which is both nice and frustrating all at once. If her long stretch was more compatible with my sleep pattern...ah well.
I'm really anxious for my mei tai to get here. I think she's strong enough to be in it without it covering her head, and since that's what makes her fuss in the other carriers we have right now, that might solve the baby carrier problem.
Thank you for your love and support the other day. I look at that decision as one more in a line of decisions that I have to make that are best for Naomi but that may be painful for me. I have mixed feeings on whether or not to keep flogging the breastfeeding thing. My first goal was six weeks, and we met that. The next was "Until it's time to order more domperidone" and we're getting to that point. I'm just not sure about the sensibility of continuing-what's it doing to my relationship with Naomi, what's it doing to my mental health, to my relationship with Cayne and all that. There's also the financial cost-the cost per ounce of breast milk here is tremendous, considering how many pills I swallow to make the puny supply I do.
It's almost time to start shopping for new diapers-gotta start thinking about what I want for medium sized diapers. I have some pre-folds...probably need some more, but then I need to figure out what to get for quick-change diapers. I do kind of enjoy the shopping part. I have some things to exchange, too for Naomi-I was given a few things that are cute but totally impractical, and it's just not worth keeping them when I can exchange them for things she might actually be able to wear. Seriously-outfits without crotch snaps are a nuisance.
It's late. Time for bed; gotta get up with the baby in the middle of the night.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 11:40 am (UTC)Anyway, google "baby witching hour" and you'll see that it is a cooperate plot from all children.
I keep on thinking about your situation, in a historical sense. If you had given birth before formula, you would have had a wet nurse. You wouldn't have the medical battle with your body, trying to get a supply up and the stresses that go along with that, both physically and mentally.
I think what you've done for Naomi is amazing. And you're going to continue to do things for her that only her mama can do.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 04:16 pm (UTC)That's the sweetest thing I've read in a long time.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 05:49 pm (UTC)Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 05:54 pm (UTC)And you're right about the historical sense. I'm grateful that I've got the option of formula. I use it when we need to. We're blessed to be able to find donors and to afford to do what we need to, but she would still be just as loved if we couldn't and isn't that most important?
She may get milk from lots of places, she may get fed by other people, but she only has me for Mom. And I know that, even when I'm sad.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-20 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 03:06 am (UTC)Naomi likes being carried belly down when she's got gas. She also likes a warm bath with me when she's got an upset stomach-I don't take her in the shower with me cause my showers are too hot, but her Papa's showers are a better temperature and she likes that.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 04:50 am (UTC)