Back again...
Jun. 6th, 2002 09:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminigirlSo, I got back last night from two days in the wild woods of West Virginia. (Okay...so I'll admit that West Virginia isn't really as scary as people say it is; every time I go I'm amazed at how beautiful it is-I'm usually in the mountains somewhere, and all that.)
Our department's staff retreat was, of course the reason that carried me off into the woods...(I do like the fact that in addition to the usual team bulding kinds of stuff, our retreat involved hot tubs and massages as well) at a gorgeous guest house...good food, gay owned, they had two beautiful dogs (a blind rotweiler, and another orangy puppy of a breed I recognize but can't identify) and hot tubs and swimming pools and all the other essential things.
The event had it's high points and low points...I learned a few things about myself, had the opportunity to work with someone I hadn't had the opportunity to work with before and felt kind of shut down by...things like that. I also got the feeling that some people didn't want to be there...that they thought they had better things to do. That was disturbing...this wasn't an optional event, but if you're going to do it half-assed (and make it clear that you're doing it half-assed) then you bring everything down. The other big low-point of course was the drinking...I have nothing against drinking, but they served us wine with dinner...some of us chose not to have any (me included) but of those that did, a number of people got quite rowdy and raucous, and disrupted the last work-related activity we were expected to do. But after that...they were still looking for more to drink...for other liquor. Andrew was there and fortunatly intervened, reminding them that this was a work function, and though it was technically after hours (we're of course only getting paid the usual 8 hours) he really would prefer we weren't drinking, and so on. The fact of the matter is, drunk people make me uncomfortable, especially when I'm sober. I'm not much of a drinker at all...a glass of wine or a cider once in a while, occasionally a mixed drink if I'm out at a bar, but it's not a regular thing for me, and I know for some of my coworkers, it is. Not saying they have a problem or anything, but it's a work thing...do you really need to be drunk-how will it benefit you, or your relationship building or any of the other things we're supposed to be getting out of the experience?
Travelling was interesting as well. On the way back our car was swapping coming out stories...I wish my parents dealt as well with my situation quite as well as some other people's parents have with theirs. Time will tell I guess. Of course my coming out story in it's entirety also involves the whole date rape thing that I've talked about on occasion in this journal. The three people in the car had a lot of questions about it...it's not something I've ever talked about at work before, in any job. It's not something I would have talked about here, but for the fact that we were sharing coming out stories and it did play a role in mine...in convincing me to take a look at and assess a lot of things about my life and relationships. They asked good questions...about how it affected me, and what it did-did it turn me off of men, had I always identified as bisexual, things like that. All questions I know the answer to, of course...but also asking me to tell the story of what happened. And sure, I've done it before, and I can still do it...but it kind of makes me numb inside, and needing to reflect and be sad or whatever feeling I was having at the time. Not the easiest thing to do when you're still 75 or so miles from home in a car full of people.
Anyway, I'm back, I'm exhausted and I have more to write about after I get some work done.
Our department's staff retreat was, of course the reason that carried me off into the woods...(I do like the fact that in addition to the usual team bulding kinds of stuff, our retreat involved hot tubs and massages as well) at a gorgeous guest house...good food, gay owned, they had two beautiful dogs (a blind rotweiler, and another orangy puppy of a breed I recognize but can't identify) and hot tubs and swimming pools and all the other essential things.
The event had it's high points and low points...I learned a few things about myself, had the opportunity to work with someone I hadn't had the opportunity to work with before and felt kind of shut down by...things like that. I also got the feeling that some people didn't want to be there...that they thought they had better things to do. That was disturbing...this wasn't an optional event, but if you're going to do it half-assed (and make it clear that you're doing it half-assed) then you bring everything down. The other big low-point of course was the drinking...I have nothing against drinking, but they served us wine with dinner...some of us chose not to have any (me included) but of those that did, a number of people got quite rowdy and raucous, and disrupted the last work-related activity we were expected to do. But after that...they were still looking for more to drink...for other liquor. Andrew was there and fortunatly intervened, reminding them that this was a work function, and though it was technically after hours (we're of course only getting paid the usual 8 hours) he really would prefer we weren't drinking, and so on. The fact of the matter is, drunk people make me uncomfortable, especially when I'm sober. I'm not much of a drinker at all...a glass of wine or a cider once in a while, occasionally a mixed drink if I'm out at a bar, but it's not a regular thing for me, and I know for some of my coworkers, it is. Not saying they have a problem or anything, but it's a work thing...do you really need to be drunk-how will it benefit you, or your relationship building or any of the other things we're supposed to be getting out of the experience?
Travelling was interesting as well. On the way back our car was swapping coming out stories...I wish my parents dealt as well with my situation quite as well as some other people's parents have with theirs. Time will tell I guess. Of course my coming out story in it's entirety also involves the whole date rape thing that I've talked about on occasion in this journal. The three people in the car had a lot of questions about it...it's not something I've ever talked about at work before, in any job. It's not something I would have talked about here, but for the fact that we were sharing coming out stories and it did play a role in mine...in convincing me to take a look at and assess a lot of things about my life and relationships. They asked good questions...about how it affected me, and what it did-did it turn me off of men, had I always identified as bisexual, things like that. All questions I know the answer to, of course...but also asking me to tell the story of what happened. And sure, I've done it before, and I can still do it...but it kind of makes me numb inside, and needing to reflect and be sad or whatever feeling I was having at the time. Not the easiest thing to do when you're still 75 or so miles from home in a car full of people.
Anyway, I'm back, I'm exhausted and I have more to write about after I get some work done.
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no subject
Date: 2002-06-06 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-06-06 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Where's the e-mail you promised?
no subject
Date: 2002-06-06 09:52 am (UTC)It's a gorgeous place, sometimes...I've done some hiking/camping/whitewater rafting and other outdoorsy kinds of stuff there.
Course I didn't tell you what B. said, (jokingly) as we were eating lunch and getting ready to get back on the road...
no subject
Date: 2002-06-06 05:23 pm (UTC)I'm sorry. I've just been incredibly exhausted for some reason. I promise I'll make it up to you the next time we chat?
no subject
Date: 2002-06-06 08:06 pm (UTC)*kisses* to you, and Oblivion is busy trying to climb around and say hi.