geminigirl | All weekend long

I've modified my lifestyle enough that my fatigue is usually well controlled. Really. Except it's back, and annoying. I've given up a lot. I'd feel better if I knew why I felt like this. It's not gone, it's abated some since last summer, and I've learned to cope, and then every once in a while it will hit me overwhelmingly. This weekend was one of those times. Fortunately, it was a weekend, and not a Wednesday or something.

I would feel so much better if I knew why. I would. But no one has ever seemed to have a clue...

One thing I've never given much emphasis to is that I live in the community I work in. On occasion I've run into people I've worked with when I've been out doing stuff. And there's an appropriate way to handle running into clients in public. Running into peer educators is a bit different. We tend to have a different kind of relationship with them-they're not clients, they're more like volunteers for us. But it does periodically cross my mind, how to handle it should I be out and about with

aquariumgirl . I do love her. I just wonder how my clients would respond should they find out I'm queer...because seeing me all snuggly in public with her would probably cause the assumption "lesbian" which would be incorrect, but could also jeopardize some of the legitimacy I have in their eyes. In other words, they can assume I'm straight, and therefore, that's why I know about men, and condoms and all that. If they can't assume that, I may lose the ability to connect on some levels. Then again, maybe not. Still, it's hard to work and live in the same community. I'm not changing my life at all. It's just something I sometimes think about.

I want to make out. I could have gone out and hooked up, but that's not what I wanted. I want to make out with boys. Hooking up would have been physically fine, but emotionally unsatisfying. And emotionally statisfying is important.

I still want to make out.

I wish I'd accomplished more this weekend. I wish I could have tracked down

roosterbear. I wish I'd gotten out to REI, to Babies R Us for Rachel, and to pick up a few clothes I'd like to have for the trip. But none of that got done.