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geminigirlThis weekend was a good distraction from not feeling well. Then again, my fever was higher this weekend than it has been before...and again this morning.
The doctor is pushing an HIV test...and I've been avoiding it. Not because I'm particularly concerned with the results, but because it's inconvenient, and stressful and frankly, hard to get one without running into people I work with.
I was worried about it, and the one place I know that has convenent hours for anonymous testing is one where I had a horrible experience a few years ago. (I went to get test results, and the counselor giving the results said to me "Don't I know you?" before he gave the results. It was a big boundary-violating mess.) and decided to check with someone at work before I set up an appointment and so on. What I thought would be a brief conversation turned into a wonderful conversation about how even when we do the work, we're not perfect, about this persons own experience getting tested and why, and all kinds of thing. It was great to be able to talk about some of this stuff...to talk about how even though I know the answers and do the work, that I don't always follow the rules...to be able to talk openly and honestly about risk and being in multiple relationships with other poly people, and all of that. And to be able to honestly say what I thought my risk was.
I'm so fed up with not feeling well. It's made more stressful by the "I don't know" factor...that no one seems to be able to figure out what's going on. All I know is I'm frequently feverish, and totally run down. At the same time, I'm glad I had an honest conversation about it at work...
I just want this over.
The doctor is pushing an HIV test...and I've been avoiding it. Not because I'm particularly concerned with the results, but because it's inconvenient, and stressful and frankly, hard to get one without running into people I work with.
I was worried about it, and the one place I know that has convenent hours for anonymous testing is one where I had a horrible experience a few years ago. (I went to get test results, and the counselor giving the results said to me "Don't I know you?" before he gave the results. It was a big boundary-violating mess.) and decided to check with someone at work before I set up an appointment and so on. What I thought would be a brief conversation turned into a wonderful conversation about how even when we do the work, we're not perfect, about this persons own experience getting tested and why, and all kinds of thing. It was great to be able to talk about some of this stuff...to talk about how even though I know the answers and do the work, that I don't always follow the rules...to be able to talk openly and honestly about risk and being in multiple relationships with other poly people, and all of that. And to be able to honestly say what I thought my risk was.
I'm so fed up with not feeling well. It's made more stressful by the "I don't know" factor...that no one seems to be able to figure out what's going on. All I know is I'm frequently feverish, and totally run down. At the same time, I'm glad I had an honest conversation about it at work...
I just want this over.
