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Apr. 26th, 2005 12:51 amWent to my parents' house for Passover. It was pleasant, mostly, though our Seder got a bit silly even before the wine. I think Cayne enjoyed his first Seder. One of Mom's grad students was there, along with her boyfriend. I like D. the grad student, but her boyfriend is kind of a jerk. According to Mom, D. wants to break up with him but is waiting until she finishes school, for economic reasons. I know that story, so when Mom mentioned that D. had asked about Passover, I told Mom that she ought to invite D. and boyfriend, because when I was in a similar situation, I really appreciated invitations to do stuff, to distract me from the mundane things.
During Passover, my cousin Lauran called to tell us she had gotten engaged that day. Lauran and my sister are very close-they were even roommates for a while while both of them lived in Boston. Lauran and her boyfriend had been together for almost five years, and apparently Lauran had said "Either we get engaged by the time we have our fifth anniversary, or I move out." And her boyfriend complied-with just a few weeks to spare. (Side note: That sort of thing has always bothered me-it feels manipulative. It may not be, it just looks, on the surface to be that way. I've been in relationships where I've needed to know if there was a possibility of moving forward to the next stage, but not "this must happen or else.")
My sister got on my nerves, as usual. My parents have cats...many cats. My parents have had cats for many many years...and my sister knows this. My sister has cat allergies. My sister also hasn't lived with my parents in many many years. So what does my sister do when she knows she's going to my parents house? Nothing. She fusses, complains, and whines and refuses to take appropriate medication, smokes like a chimeny, and generally decides to be miserable-my mother even offered to pay for a hotel room for her for Saturday night, while she was out there, and she refused. If my sister planned ahead, and took appropriate medication (namely Claritin) for a few days before she came to my parents, and while she was there, she would feel much better...she knows this. Instead, she prefers to complain.
And the smoking thing-she chooses to smoke and whatever my feelings are on that, it's her choice. But she'll be 29 this year, and she feels the need to sneak around and do it. It's ridiculous...she's a grown up-grow some backbone. Yes, Dad will be disappointed (Mom knows about the smoking habit) but suck it up...it's your choice.
And on the queer front...Mom, sister and I are in the kitchen together...and Mom relates the following anecdote: Mom was talking to a cousin of hers recently, to sort out addresses and stuff for the wedding. It came up that the daughter of another cousin is a lesbian and had recently been artifically inseminated. Mom said something about how it must have come from the mother's side of the family (the father is a relative.) Cousin replies "Why? My (daughter's name) is gay." Mom wanted to fall through the floor. (Further evidence that Mom doesn't deal well with the queer thing...I'm not surprised at all by that faux pas) I can't say I'm surprised that there are other queer kids in my generation in the family, but I would honestly have had no idea which ones. This particular cousin is about three years younger than I am, and from Boston...I sort of wonder if she's crossed paths with any of my Boston-friends. Cousin and her partner are in fact, invited to the wedding. I said to Cayne that at least some of my family will appreciate our attention to inequality.
( and the part about menstruation, cut for the squeamish, but it's not graphic and if you skip it you miss an amusing conversation with my mother. )
During Passover, my cousin Lauran called to tell us she had gotten engaged that day. Lauran and my sister are very close-they were even roommates for a while while both of them lived in Boston. Lauran and her boyfriend had been together for almost five years, and apparently Lauran had said "Either we get engaged by the time we have our fifth anniversary, or I move out." And her boyfriend complied-with just a few weeks to spare. (Side note: That sort of thing has always bothered me-it feels manipulative. It may not be, it just looks, on the surface to be that way. I've been in relationships where I've needed to know if there was a possibility of moving forward to the next stage, but not "this must happen or else.")
My sister got on my nerves, as usual. My parents have cats...many cats. My parents have had cats for many many years...and my sister knows this. My sister has cat allergies. My sister also hasn't lived with my parents in many many years. So what does my sister do when she knows she's going to my parents house? Nothing. She fusses, complains, and whines and refuses to take appropriate medication, smokes like a chimeny, and generally decides to be miserable-my mother even offered to pay for a hotel room for her for Saturday night, while she was out there, and she refused. If my sister planned ahead, and took appropriate medication (namely Claritin) for a few days before she came to my parents, and while she was there, she would feel much better...she knows this. Instead, she prefers to complain.
And the smoking thing-she chooses to smoke and whatever my feelings are on that, it's her choice. But she'll be 29 this year, and she feels the need to sneak around and do it. It's ridiculous...she's a grown up-grow some backbone. Yes, Dad will be disappointed (Mom knows about the smoking habit) but suck it up...it's your choice.
And on the queer front...Mom, sister and I are in the kitchen together...and Mom relates the following anecdote: Mom was talking to a cousin of hers recently, to sort out addresses and stuff for the wedding. It came up that the daughter of another cousin is a lesbian and had recently been artifically inseminated. Mom said something about how it must have come from the mother's side of the family (the father is a relative.) Cousin replies "Why? My (daughter's name) is gay." Mom wanted to fall through the floor. (Further evidence that Mom doesn't deal well with the queer thing...I'm not surprised at all by that faux pas) I can't say I'm surprised that there are other queer kids in my generation in the family, but I would honestly have had no idea which ones. This particular cousin is about three years younger than I am, and from Boston...I sort of wonder if she's crossed paths with any of my Boston-friends. Cousin and her partner are in fact, invited to the wedding. I said to Cayne that at least some of my family will appreciate our attention to inequality.
( and the part about menstruation, cut for the squeamish, but it's not graphic and if you skip it you miss an amusing conversation with my mother. )
