What do you do with an ex-boyfriend...

when you're about to get married?

We're not having a formal rehersal, so there's an open-houseish sort of thing planned at my Mom's for members of the bridal party, and a few other family members etc. on Saturday afternoon/evening. And since everyone's at the house, and my bedroom is essentially the way I left it when I moved away after grad school, my room has gotten a pretty thorough cleaning.

Among the things I've found is a pile of old writings by Josh Saitz, who edits Negative Capabilities...I suppose I could track him down and see if he wants any of it. Or I could keep it. I think I'll e-mail him. I have at least one video tape that he'd probably like to have.

And photographs...lots of photographs. Old photos of me, aynjel, points, Peetah (who doesn't have an LJ as far as I know) dieppe and lenniersd (neither one of whom read my journal, but I know that people on my flist know them, and if you could kindly point them at this post, I'd appreciate it.) And other photos from college, of me and Megan (aka Blink)-who I would love to track down, and if anyone reading this has her current e-mail please let me know. I tried to e-mail her before I went to San Francisco, but the mail bounced.

And even more photos...of me and siva_dc and Ava, and cappyhead and shirleym...and and and.

And what do I do with all this stuff? It was amazing the memories it brought back...the feelings that rose up.

I'm incredibly glad that I'm not pining over ex-boyfriends. I looked through the photos and realized how much I've grown and that I really like the person I've grown into. I'm grateful for the memories and experiences preserved in those photos. I'm glad that I've still got some of the same wonderful people in my life who are in those photos, and sad that some of them drifted away.

I like where I'm at. It's not necessarily where I envisioned myself at thirty, but I like where I'm at and where I'm going.

And perhaps if I can get access to a scanner, and permission from people other than me who appear in some of these photos, I'll scan and post them. It might be fun.

(no subject)

Picked up proofs from our engagement photos while I was at the photographer's today. Wow did they come out well. Once Cayne's seen the, I'll try to post some, so long as the scanner works well.

More running around, more things to do.

wait rocks my world.

Enough of the fighting upstairs already. It's non-stop. I've so totally had enough. Mom keeps trying to convince me (and my sister) that it's better than it used to be, but it's not. Maybe at one point it was, but as I said to Mom then, "We don't live here anymore. Maybe on a day to day basis, regularly, it's not bad anymore, but when we come home, it's all we hear. And so it sounds like nothing has changed to us."

Ugh. I wish I could get away from it somewhere, but there isn't anywhere to go.