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A year ago I was heartbroken at yet another Mother's Day passing and still not having success getting pregnant. I wrote about pricing Clomid, worried about side effects and was gathering my strength to start going through whatever hoops the insurance company and reproductive endocrinologist might make me jump through in order to get pregnant.
Twenty three days ago I gave birth to Naomi, a child I doubted I'd ever have.
The process of getting pregnant certainly caused some strain between the two of us. I'm sure parenthood will do the same sometimes. Certainly our initiation hasn't been easy...battling the hospital pediatrician who was practically accusing me of being on drugs-you don't really want to hear things like "I've seen babies on drugs who were less jittery than yours" and this whole mess that has been breastfeeding...but you know what? I'm sure there will be more hard parts later on, and these tests now are just preparing me for later. Maggie likes to remind me that there's a lesson in all this somewhere, even if I don't know what it is yet. Perhaps the kindness of strangers? Asking for help? Less stubborness? Letting go? To stop asking permission to make decisions? Who knows...I certainly don't, but there are all sorts of things I can learn.
This is the first time I celebrate mother's day for me. Not the first time I celebrate motherhood. And there's a long road ahead.
Twenty three days ago I gave birth to Naomi, a child I doubted I'd ever have.
The process of getting pregnant certainly caused some strain between the two of us. I'm sure parenthood will do the same sometimes. Certainly our initiation hasn't been easy...battling the hospital pediatrician who was practically accusing me of being on drugs-you don't really want to hear things like "I've seen babies on drugs who were less jittery than yours" and this whole mess that has been breastfeeding...but you know what? I'm sure there will be more hard parts later on, and these tests now are just preparing me for later. Maggie likes to remind me that there's a lesson in all this somewhere, even if I don't know what it is yet. Perhaps the kindness of strangers? Asking for help? Less stubborness? Letting go? To stop asking permission to make decisions? Who knows...I certainly don't, but there are all sorts of things I can learn.
This is the first time I celebrate mother's day for me. Not the first time I celebrate motherhood. And there's a long road ahead.
