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Jun. 3rd, 2008 07:09 pmI don't write too much about some of my family-namely my older siblings. But my Dad got so choked up today while I was on the phone with him that I need to.
Let me provide a little background. My Dad was married once before he married my Mom. He had two children in his first marriage, my sister Amy and my brother Scott-technically half-siblings, but I've never thought of them as anything other than my brother and sister. Amy is 13 years older than I am, and Scott is 9 years older than I am, making them 46 and almost 42 respectively. They spent weekends, summers and quite a few vacations with us, were a part of all of the family events that I can think of, and were generally a part of things when I was younger. At some point, I don't know what happened, but the relationship between my siblings and my father, and my mother as well has become very strained. My sister doesn't talk to her mother at all, and her relationship with my parents (our Dad, my Mom) and my younger siblings extends to birthday cards, an occasional e-mail, and her attendance (sans husband and children) at family events like my wedding. (I'm not a fan of her husband, but he and their children are always invited to the important things.) My brother's relationship with us and my parents is less strained-we saw them the day after Thanksgiving, they were at my Dad's 70th birthday celebration last summer, I chat with my niece and nephew on IM, and with my sister in law as well. They're not as close to my parents, at all, but more so than my sister and her family. My brother and sister each have two children. My brother's children are fifteen and a half and eleven and a half. My sister has two children. I think her daughter is ten or eleven and her son is about eight or nine. I know my brother's kids reasonably well considering how rarely I see them. I've gone on vacation with them. I have a general idea of what they like and don't like, what they're doing, and so on. I've never met my sister's children. I haven't seen her husband in probably fifteen years or more. In other words, they may be part of my family by blood, but they don't much behave like family.
It was such a simple conversation. Today Naomi discovered that she could pull on the rings that attach to one of the toys on her bouncy seat and move the toy. This seemed to please her quite a bit, and I got teary when I saw it. My Dad enjoys hearing about these little discoveries, so I called him this evening to share it with him. He joked, "So when are you going to give her driving lessons...or does she get a bicycle first?"
My Mom and Dad are coming down next week to see Naomi (and by extension us, though we all know that the most important part is to see Naomi.) My Dad was telling me how much he was looking forward to meeting the Nacho. I told him I was glad. He asked "why?" And I told him that I was glad he was enjoying being a grandfather and really having the opportunity to be a grandfather to Naomi. And he really is enjoying the little updates, the new discoveries, and the ups and downs that we're experiencing as we figure out what we're doing. It's making it hard to be far away from them, because I think my Dad would like to be around a little more, but I share as much as I can.
But to know how emotional my Dad has been about Naomi is just moving. My Dad hasn't ever been one to display a lot of emotion as I can recall, and the way he's been touched by his granddaughter just blows me away. I know that my Dad was changed dramatically by his experiences on 9/11 (for readers who are fairly new, my Dad is a survivor of the World Trade Center. I don't know if I've ever provided the details but let me know if you really want the short version.) He's become more emotional, but also more suspicious and more curmudgeonly. I could do without the suspicion, the anger, and that part, but I'm not sure I'd trade it for the way he's become softer in other ways. I'm just glad to have the opportunity to share this with my father, and to watch him embrace his new role.
Let me provide a little background. My Dad was married once before he married my Mom. He had two children in his first marriage, my sister Amy and my brother Scott-technically half-siblings, but I've never thought of them as anything other than my brother and sister. Amy is 13 years older than I am, and Scott is 9 years older than I am, making them 46 and almost 42 respectively. They spent weekends, summers and quite a few vacations with us, were a part of all of the family events that I can think of, and were generally a part of things when I was younger. At some point, I don't know what happened, but the relationship between my siblings and my father, and my mother as well has become very strained. My sister doesn't talk to her mother at all, and her relationship with my parents (our Dad, my Mom) and my younger siblings extends to birthday cards, an occasional e-mail, and her attendance (sans husband and children) at family events like my wedding. (I'm not a fan of her husband, but he and their children are always invited to the important things.) My brother's relationship with us and my parents is less strained-we saw them the day after Thanksgiving, they were at my Dad's 70
It was such a simple conversation. Today Naomi discovered that she could pull on the rings that attach to one of the toys on her bouncy seat and move the toy. This seemed to please her quite a bit, and I got teary when I saw it. My Dad enjoys hearing about these little discoveries, so I called him this evening to share it with him. He joked, "So when are you going to give her driving lessons...or does she get a bicycle first?"
My Mom and Dad are coming down next week to see Naomi (and by extension us, though we all know that the most important part is to see Naomi.) My Dad was telling me how much he was looking forward to meeting the Nacho. I told him I was glad. He asked "why?" And I told him that I was glad he was enjoying being a grandfather and really having the opportunity to be a grandfather to Naomi. And he really is enjoying the little updates, the new discoveries, and the ups and downs that we're experiencing as we figure out what we're doing. It's making it hard to be far away from them, because I think my Dad would like to be around a little more, but I share as much as I can.
But to know how emotional my Dad has been about Naomi is just moving. My Dad hasn't ever been one to display a lot of emotion as I can recall, and the way he's been touched by his granddaughter just blows me away. I know that my Dad was changed dramatically by his experiences on 9/11 (for readers who are fairly new, my Dad is a survivor of the World Trade Center. I don't know if I've ever provided the details but let me know if you really want the short version.) He's become more emotional, but also more suspicious and more curmudgeonly. I could do without the suspicion, the anger, and that part, but I'm not sure I'd trade it for the way he's become softer in other ways. I'm just glad to have the opportunity to share this with my father, and to watch him embrace his new role.
