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I am thinking about chocolate Santas...
Nov. 20th, 2009 05:31 pmAbout 30 years ago, around this time of year...maybe a little later, my brother had pneumonia and was in the hospital. I'm old enough to remember this, but I'm almost positive it was before I was in Kindergarten, which would make it 1978 or 1979...when I was three or four. (I was three when Zach was born.)
I remember that he had pneumonia. And I remember that my Mom was up at the hospital with him but that one night, she came home and brought with her a hollow chocolate Santa for my sister and for me. And each night when we got to eat a little bit of it, she would tell us how far down we could eat.
My brother is, as of the last time I talked to my family (last night) still in citical condition, though small improvements are happening-his oxygen usage is improving, his white blood count is falling...he's still running a fever though, and they're still using a cooling blanket for him, and his abdomen is still very distended. It's hour by hour, day by day, really, though yesterday my sister mentioned that they may reduce the sedation for a while and let the family talk to him in a more conscious state.
I don't know if I mentioned-Stacey flew in on the red eye from LA the other day to be there. She felt the same way I did...while there isn't anything we can actually do other than sit there and make small talk, it's better to be sitting there together than sitting alone far away. And that's part of what makes it so hard for me-I can't sit with them, I have to sit alone. I mean, I'm in the "You could have a baby any time, now" stage.
What hurt me this week, more than I can ever convey in words, was having to say to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zedrikcayne "I think we may need to revisit the baby name discussion, with my brother in this condition." (Religious tradition that kind of dictates how we arrived at baby names means naming people after dead relatives, and after a tearful breakdown in the shower the other day, I decided that I wanted to make sure that I had discussed the situation with him. It just seemed...prudent, though I'm hoping it won't come to this...that by the time the baby comes my brother will be well on his way to recovery. Yet another reason that I want this baby to stay put!)
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. They mean a lot to me.
I remember that he had pneumonia. And I remember that my Mom was up at the hospital with him but that one night, she came home and brought with her a hollow chocolate Santa for my sister and for me. And each night when we got to eat a little bit of it, she would tell us how far down we could eat.
My brother is, as of the last time I talked to my family (last night) still in citical condition, though small improvements are happening-his oxygen usage is improving, his white blood count is falling...he's still running a fever though, and they're still using a cooling blanket for him, and his abdomen is still very distended. It's hour by hour, day by day, really, though yesterday my sister mentioned that they may reduce the sedation for a while and let the family talk to him in a more conscious state.
I don't know if I mentioned-Stacey flew in on the red eye from LA the other day to be there. She felt the same way I did...while there isn't anything we can actually do other than sit there and make small talk, it's better to be sitting there together than sitting alone far away. And that's part of what makes it so hard for me-I can't sit with them, I have to sit alone. I mean, I'm in the "You could have a baby any time, now" stage.
What hurt me this week, more than I can ever convey in words, was having to say to
zedrikcayne "I think we may need to revisit the baby name discussion, with my brother in this condition." (Religious tradition that kind of dictates how we arrived at baby names means naming people after dead relatives, and after a tearful breakdown in the shower the other day, I decided that I wanted to make sure that I had discussed the situation with him. It just seemed...prudent, though I'm hoping it won't come to this...that by the time the baby comes my brother will be well on his way to recovery. Yet another reason that I want this baby to stay put!) Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. They mean a lot to me.
