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I must Confess
Feb. 1st, 2011 05:28 pmI am really struggling as a parent right now.
My kids are wonderful. I love them very much-they're growing up, they're changing, they're doing new things. Naomi, in particular, is fascinating me lately-her verbal skills have grown by leaps and bounds in the last few weeks-she's grown conversational and it's really interesting. I was absolutely charmed by the way she looked at the cashier when we were shopping the other day and said "Thank you helping" when the cashier was helping us put things into the cart.
But I'm struggling. With decisions, with choices, with being a parent.
It's trying to figure out how to start talking about strangers with Naomi...who is a bright, cheerful and social kid. But how to find the balance between talking about strangers and encouraging her to trust her instincts about people and to be aware and not just wander off, and not frightening her so much that she has trouble navigating the world. I refuse to be the "Eek! A man on the playground" parent. I don't want Naomi to be afraid of all men-that's not reasonable, safe or appropriate. I don't want her to be too afraid to make new friends, or to talk to an adult she doesn't know if she needs to. But I do want to keep her safe. And this is making my heart hurt, trying to think about how to do it in the best way I can.
It's trying to figure out how to introduce her to the diversity of families when pretty much all the families we spend time with are two parent, mommy-daddy families. This is when I miss our community up north so much. Naomi was pointing out mommies in the book bwe were looking at this morning.
I'm trying to figure out nursery school for Naomi. She needs more socially and academically than I'm able to provide for her right now, and still pay attention to Miriam and do the other things that I need to do. And what to do and where to go, and finding the right program for her, and the right one for our budget. I'm just feeling overwhelmed at the responsibility here.
I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit like who I am is subsumed by my identity as "Naomi and Miriam's Mom." I've got no idea who I am outside that sometimes...and I feel like I want to do something for myself, something real-school, work, I don't know what. I keep thinking there's time to do that after I'm past the small and needy phase of parenting, but I'm also stuck on not knowing what that is.
And now, I have to get back to the world of motherhood and figure out what's for dinner for my family.
My kids are wonderful. I love them very much-they're growing up, they're changing, they're doing new things. Naomi, in particular, is fascinating me lately-her verbal skills have grown by leaps and bounds in the last few weeks-she's grown conversational and it's really interesting. I was absolutely charmed by the way she looked at the cashier when we were shopping the other day and said "Thank you helping" when the cashier was helping us put things into the cart.
But I'm struggling. With decisions, with choices, with being a parent.
It's trying to figure out how to start talking about strangers with Naomi...who is a bright, cheerful and social kid. But how to find the balance between talking about strangers and encouraging her to trust her instincts about people and to be aware and not just wander off, and not frightening her so much that she has trouble navigating the world. I refuse to be the "Eek! A man on the playground" parent. I don't want Naomi to be afraid of all men-that's not reasonable, safe or appropriate. I don't want her to be too afraid to make new friends, or to talk to an adult she doesn't know if she needs to. But I do want to keep her safe. And this is making my heart hurt, trying to think about how to do it in the best way I can.
It's trying to figure out how to introduce her to the diversity of families when pretty much all the families we spend time with are two parent, mommy-daddy families. This is when I miss our community up north so much. Naomi was pointing out mommies in the book bwe were looking at this morning.
I'm trying to figure out nursery school for Naomi. She needs more socially and academically than I'm able to provide for her right now, and still pay attention to Miriam and do the other things that I need to do. And what to do and where to go, and finding the right program for her, and the right one for our budget. I'm just feeling overwhelmed at the responsibility here.
I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit like who I am is subsumed by my identity as "Naomi and Miriam's Mom." I've got no idea who I am outside that sometimes...and I feel like I want to do something for myself, something real-school, work, I don't know what. I keep thinking there's time to do that after I'm past the small and needy phase of parenting, but I'm also stuck on not knowing what that is.
And now, I have to get back to the world of motherhood and figure out what's for dinner for my family.
