(no subject)

[geminigirl]

There's a time at night, right after I get into bed, (most nights anyway) when everything but the crickets are silent. It's the time when both cats seem to join me in the bed, Beta at my side, and Oblivion on top of me. Beta gets a bath, purring loudly the whole time, and Oblivion is very content to give one to him. He gets this odd look of grudging contentment on his face, and I wonder if Oblivion has any clue how much he seems to like it, considering that she can't hear how he responds.

I was thinking about this last night. Thinking about how, in about a month, it probably won't happen anymore...the cats cuddle differently when both of us are in the bed, when it's not just me. They cuddle with me alone, or sometimes with Cayne alone, but it's unusual that they'll stay in the bed for any length of time when both of us are there, even if we're just sitting around and talking. They cuddle differently in general with Cayne around-despite the fact that Beta can't resist aquariumgirl and I think he thinks she's his other human-almost as soon as she sits down on the futon, he's there with her. Oblivion seems to have a great desire to shed on her as well.

Thinking about this time, about not having this time anymore brought me back to when Beta first arrived, and the first few months or so, when things were difficult between the two of them, when I thought about giving one of them up, but how could I choose? When I adopted my animals I made a comittment to them to care for them for the rest of their lives. And it took a while, but now they get along quite nicely...except when Beta gets a bit too wild for Oblivion, and then she tells him off and goes and hangs out under the bed, or in another spot where he won't bother her.


I'm giving up some of that me time in a few weeks. I'm not sure that I'm totally okay with that...only because I know it'll take some time to get used to all the disruption.

But it'll be okay.

Comments

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

It's hard.

Before Dan and I started living together, I spent a lot of time alone, doing my own thing. My parents used to comment that I was a hermit (I was living with them until I moved in with Dan; I had gone back to school)

We didn't handle it well. We never designated space that was mine, and space that was his. I felt like he took over the spare room, and I had no haven, and he felt like I had taken over the rest of the apartment.

With the house, we managed to make some space for each of us, although my space has been curtailed a bit since Al moved in (my space was the spare bedroom, his was the library). When Al moved in, we made a point of making sure she has space that's hers, that she can do anything she wants with.

Maybe if you can make a space that's yours, a corner, part of a room, somewhere you can be alone with your thoughts and just be at ease in. Even someplace you can lay down and hang with the cats.

One thing that I think Dan and I had to learn, because no one every really said this to us, is that it's normal and healthy to spend time alone, it's not detrimental to the relationship, and it's no indication whatsoever of any problems. Having your own space, especially after being used to having it for so long, is essential for your well-being.

[geminigirl]

If things go according to plan, we'll have plenty of space for the time being, to have our own space. I'm not sure how the cats will feel about it-the place we're going to be is much larger than my current one bedroom apartment. I'm actually looking forward to the cats being able to have more space to run around and do cat-things.

I need a good comfy chair with decent light and places to prop needlepoint and I'm good. The cats...they'll tell me what they need. I'm leaning towards a nicer, bigger cat tree when it's in the budget.