Put your head back in the clouds
Aug. 27th, 2002 02:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminigirlRule #1....don't leave your tasty beverage in front of the CD drawer. (fortunatly, this was noticed before potential spillage...course on the other side of the desk by the phone isn't great either, but it's improved.)
So...my plans for the next couple of weeks include Rosh Hashana at my parents house, up in NY...it's just a weekend, and it's good to be with family at the holidays. I'm spending Yom Kippur with the girlfriend who is not![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aquariumgirl and her husband. (I could spend it with local family, but not sure I want to, it's almost more meaningful to me to be with her that day.) And then a week or so up in NY (with the vacation days that were already budgeted for this month) to be around while Dad is recovering from his knee replacement. In the past a great deal of energy would have gone into trying to convince me that coming up for both events was unnecessary, that they would manage fine, and so on without me being there. All kinds of energy would have gone into the "don't worry it's fine" and things like that, and you don't need to come home for that and more and more. And yet, not a peep about it until today. And barely a peep at that.
This change, this not telling me that I shouldn't come home or that I don't need to come home, scares me a bit. If I know my parents, it could mean any of the following...that this is far more serious than I'm aware, that my dad is aging and this is sort of the way that I'm getting initated into that sort of caring for my parents responsibility, that my parents see me as "adult" in some way, so they're expecting this sort of thing, just like when my Dad's mom was sick and dying, he was around, and when my Mom's parents were ill and dying, she was around. It's normal for my parents to not tell me when serious things are going on, or how serious they are. That's always been the M.O. So for me to get more information than usual, I get nervous. The deviation from the norm, that's what makes me squirmy.
I'm just not sure what's up, but I get the feeling something is.
So...my plans for the next couple of weeks include Rosh Hashana at my parents house, up in NY...it's just a weekend, and it's good to be with family at the holidays. I'm spending Yom Kippur with the girlfriend who is not
aquariumgirl and her husband. (I could spend it with local family, but not sure I want to, it's almost more meaningful to me to be with her that day.) And then a week or so up in NY (with the vacation days that were already budgeted for this month) to be around while Dad is recovering from his knee replacement. In the past a great deal of energy would have gone into trying to convince me that coming up for both events was unnecessary, that they would manage fine, and so on without me being there. All kinds of energy would have gone into the "don't worry it's fine" and things like that, and you don't need to come home for that and more and more. And yet, not a peep about it until today. And barely a peep at that. This change, this not telling me that I shouldn't come home or that I don't need to come home, scares me a bit. If I know my parents, it could mean any of the following...that this is far more serious than I'm aware, that my dad is aging and this is sort of the way that I'm getting initated into that sort of caring for my parents responsibility, that my parents see me as "adult" in some way, so they're expecting this sort of thing, just like when my Dad's mom was sick and dying, he was around, and when my Mom's parents were ill and dying, she was around. It's normal for my parents to not tell me when serious things are going on, or how serious they are. That's always been the M.O. So for me to get more information than usual, I get nervous. The deviation from the norm, that's what makes me squirmy.
I'm just not sure what's up, but I get the feeling something is.
