New History Form at the Doctor's Office

[geminigirl]

My doctor's office had a new patient history form today. One of the questions on the form was asking how many sexual partners you had in the last year. This was not a difficult question for me to answer. Another asked for the total number of lifetime sexual partners. I couldn't answer this question...I have no idea; I've never really counted. I'm wondering if that's a typical thing or am I just odd. And so, as usual, when I have a question, a poll.

[Poll #965547]

Comments

apropos of very little

[arfur]

your tag for "menstruation" is misspelled.

:-P

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a function of the kind of person I am but rather of the circumstances in which I spent the first decade or so after sexual maturity.

[fortryll.livejournal.com]

This is my situation as well; I did a huge amount of drinking in my late teens and honestly can't remember how many people I slept with. Beyond that time, I'm pretty well aware of how many.

[geekchick]

Similar situation here.

[bookly.livejournal.com]

By "yes", I mean "give or take one or two one-night stands in high school or college that I might have forgotten about".

[messyjessy.livejournal.com]

You need a third choice: "approximately." I'm pretty sure of the number +/- 1 or 2, and if I thought hard enough I could probably figure it out exactly. But, off the top of my head, I'm not certain.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

That.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

Me too, also.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

If I thought about it hard enough I could probably come up with the number, but it's not something I actively track so I said 'no'.

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

I know the number of boys, that is easy because I don't really sleep with many boys. Girls? Wow, I have no idea. I'm a much bigger slut with girls.

[throwacat.livejournal.com]

haha YES me too

[melaniesuzanne.livejournal.com]

I have to think about it for a minute or two, but yeah, I can remember the number. I can't remember all their names, however.

[geminigirl]

I've always felt kind of uncomfortable about having forgotten some of the names.

[lovingboth]

My teenage self would agree with that, in the same way I was determined never to skip a lecture at university (that one lasted ooh, a week or two). But with some of them, no words were exchanged, never mind names.

The big question for me is what counts as a 'sexual partner'?

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Of course. But, I'm a prude. :)

[minikin.livejournal.com]

Okay, I know the number, but only by being arbitrary about what counts.

[scherzoid.livejournal.com]

I know the exact number (which varies wildly depending on your definition), and I can name (at least scene name) all of them. I have (or can very easily get) contact information for all but three of my historical PIV/PIA partners, and ALL of my play/sex partners from the past 8 years or so -- in fact, well over half of them are on my friends list. :)

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I could probably figure it out if I sat down and counted, but it would depend on the definition of "sex," which varies.

[vix.livejournal.com]

This question reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where they discuss the numbers. Also, that scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral where Andie MacDowell dissects all the men she's slept with for Hugh Grant's edification.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

I sit down and count once in a while when the question comes up. I keep forgetting people, though. See also lj-mactavish.

[wolfden.livejournal.com]

I mostly do. Tho it depends on how you define Sexual Relations. If it's every deep kiss he wanted to know about well then heh. I suppose oral herpes is part of oral health.

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

If I take a minute or two I can list out my sexual partners in chronological order. After I do that, I know the number, which isn't all that high, really.

[pinkfish.livejournal.com]

When I count "how many times have I . . . ", I almost always lose count at about the same place, which is around 50. I knew the number of people I had had sex with up to about 50. I knew the number of times I had seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show up to about 50.

The other day, I asked one of my running buddies how many marathons he had run. He knew the exact number - 75.

I can't remember if I have run 3 or 4.

[cappyhead.livejournal.com]

I made a conscious decision to stop counting after 50, and that was like 10 years ago. I guess I'm probably around 75 now, but that's just a wild guess.

[zurcherart.livejournal.com]

I could give a very rough estimate, but as you may have guessed I've really lost count. And then there's the parties ... do I count all the people in the room, or only the people that I touched from more then 60 seconds, the penetrations, or just the orgasms?

I think I would write "none of your business" on the form though.

[tronochick.livejournal.com]

is it slutty to say that i lost count?

[geminigirl]

No. Not at all.

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Not a single bit! I cannot honestly count, and I have tried recently. Yet, I would not consider myself slut by any means. Some people have just done more. I think it just depends on how responsible you were with what you did.

[yix.livejournal.com]

I only know because when I was first dating my husband I went to get my regular STD test and the doctor asked me that (not on a form). My response was, "ever??? I have No Idea." The doctor asked me to estimate and I had to respond with, "Really, I just have no idea. I couldn't even estimate."

I had always been able to answer the "this year" question, but had never been asked the "ever" question. So I went home and wrote down a list and came up with a number. When I went back she asked me again before she would give me the test results. Honestly, she looked upset when I told her. It was almost as if to say, "you've had THAT many partners and you don't have anything?" (We were doing the blood test for Herpes I and II. Apparently I ruined her statistics. That's my theory)

So since the number hasn't changed in the last 5 years or so...well, I still know it.

(At least I'm older than my number again, though!)

[sandboxdiva.livejournal.com]

Human or battery-operated?

[chelona.livejournal.com]

I answered Yes, but honestly it is more of "I am pretty darn sure, within one or two".

[chelona.livejournal.com]

Darn mouse. Wants to click submit before I am done typing! :)

Anyway, I was filling out forms for my doctor the other day as well, and I saw the same question about lifetime sexual partners. It was online though, and it had a dropdown box. In the box? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5+. That's it! :) Who do they think THEY are kidding? :)

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Don't laugh too hard, but I'm at 3.

[chelona.livejournal.com]

It isn't anything to laugh at. I was just surprised that they put the "+" at five!

[lovingboth]

Well, the number of lifetime partners in the whole population is something like quite a few at zero, lots at one, many at two, quite a few at three etc with five plus at a few.

If you do an arithmentic mean, the figure is pulled up by the small number of people who've had thousands, but the median is two or three, from memory.

That's not to say that the people on less than five wouldn't like it to be higher...

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

I stopped counting when I met Elkor, but I have a list somewhere in a journal, including the rare one night stand, and if pressed I could come up with an exact number.

[margoeve.livejournal.com]

But, I'd leave that blank on any medical form. It's no one's goddamned business but mine.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

I think I'm the only one commenting thus far that knows the exact number, but I'm sure it's only because it's so pathetically minute.

My total is 3. My husband is my third.
Largely because I seem to get myself caught in really long-term relationships that last 3-4 years, and meeting my husband when I was 21 years old kind of stopped the count on # of sex partners.

[also-huey.livejournal.com]

I don't find that 'pathetic'. It's probably a bad idea to affix any kind of value judgment based on the number of sexual partners somebody has had.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

I guess because of the pervasive sexually charged nature in which we live in, those who "don't get any" are often considered undesirable, much like the movie "40 Year Old Virgin" depiction of what people who dont get any must look like, behave, and think.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

*nods* I entered a monogamous marriage at 22. Even if I'd been pretty free with sex before then (and as I said upthread, I'm a prude, so I wasn't), entering a monogamous marriage that young seriously limits my potential partner number. Just wanted to say you're not the only one. :)

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

Part of my problem is deciding what counts, and the other part is that I went to a school with a 12 to 1 ratio and then was in the SF leather community, so yeah, I kind of did a lot of stuff with a lot of people.

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Ironically, I just thought about this a week ago. I tried to count, and thought I got them all. Of course I shuddered quite a few times, and wanted to puke, but that's besides the point.

Later I would remember one or two I had forgotten, and got all down on myself. Though I must say, I never, EVER had sex without a condom. The only time I did was in my only serious relationships. B, dickface #1, and dickface #2. I was on birth control with all. I thought I was in monogomous relationships, but both times in the past I was proven wrong. I still go to my yearly check ups, and thank the sweet baby jesus and those little sheep that nothing has come up. When I broke up with the last guy, my doctor told me to stop coming in! I was convinced he must have given me something after finding out the kind of smut he was cheating on me with.

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Wow. I thought I was responding to someone else's journal! That's what happens when I have three people on my f list that start with g. Not that I would answer any differently if I had known it was your question.