A return to the usual minutiae and insignificance...

[geminigirl]

The name of a local salon? "Mullet Salon and Spa" (for locals, it's on Mills a little north of Colonial.)


So I'm contemplating volunteering at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center-I was over there tonight, and I'm not sure it's a good fit; it seems that about all they have that they can have me doing, is answering phones. I'll give Planned Parenthood a look and see if they have things that actually take advantage of my skills and experience. One thing I've thought about, and that I hate to think that I've had to think about it, is whether or not my involvement with that organization might affect our ability to adopt a child in the future if we wanted to. I hate that I've had to think about that. (Florida is pretty firm in their anti-gay-parent stance. I worry already that being pretty much out and queer will already be a big negative.)

Okay, so I've written about being queer lately. I know there are a bunch of new readers (I noticed it on my info page the other day.) If you feel like it, let me know how you got here (I like to know that.) And for everyone, let me know if you've got questions, or are unclear on something, from what color my hair is (auburn) to where I live (near Orlando Florida) to whom I'm dating (I'm involved with aquariumgirl and I'm married, legally, to zedrikcayne,) to my favorite color (green) to all sorts of stuff in between, let me know, and I'll try and answer you.

Comments

[lala2.livejournal.com]

Is the auburn natural? I love auburn hair....I keep trying to get the "right" tone but so far I haven't had much luck.


Green...is this kelly green? Light green? I need specifics please. Hehehehehe...

I can't think of anything good to ask. Dangit.

[geminigirl]

The auburn is natural, and the green isn't one specific shade.

[lala2.livejournal.com]

I am jealou of your hair.

New question. (do I get more then one set of them?) where is the last place you and aquariumgirl went on a date?


Do you have a dog? *I think I should know this...but I don't*

[geminigirl]

We went to Disneyworld when she visited me here in October of last year.

I do not at the moment, have a dog. I want a dog very much, but, before we can consider a dog, we need to fix our fence in the backyard, and we need to agree on what kind of dog (all the dogs I like best are ill suited for Florida) and we both need to commit to the lifestyle that a dog brings with it. I'm ready to make that change, although he's not, and so, we'll wait on a dog for a bit longer. We do however, have three very nice and furry cats.

[lala2.livejournal.com]

On a more serious note...I hope there comes a time when no State can be legally be anti gay parent.

When it comes to this issue (and the issue of gay marriage) we are seriously living in the dark ages.

[icelore.livejournal.com]

I showed up on your buddy list about a nth and a half ago. I don't remember what community I saw you in, but I told you that I was going to add you before I did. ^^

Anyway, because you are asking for questions, and I am one of those super curious kinds of people - I'm always interested in human sexuality and relationships - I'm curious as to if you are separated from your husband or if it is just an open marriage or whatnot? I'm assuming that you aren't in a 'relationship' with him anymore though if you are identifying yourself as queer. For all I know it could just be a poly relationship.

I hope I didn't offend you or make you feel uncomfortable by butting in to your business!

[geminigirl]

I wouldn't have thrown the "avaiilable for questions" sign out if I wasn't going to answer them, or be able to politely decline.

I am not separated from my husband. We'll celebrate our second anniversary in June. It is a poly relationship-I've been involved with aquariumgirl for six years. zedrikcayne and I have known each other for ten years, had a couple of very unsuccessful attempts at dating between 2001 and 2003, settled into comfortable fling, and thought that was fine, until late 2003 when things clicked, we began dating seriously for a very short time, and he suggested we get married in Febrary of 2004. We've been married since June of 2005.

I'm still queer whether or not I'm married and no matter who I happen to be in a relationship with. I agonized over how getting married would affect me, my relationship with aquariumgirl and all sorts of other things.

Really what it is is what works for us-I'm involved with aquariumgirl and with Cayne, but neither Cayne nor I is really looking for anything else at the moment, though if it happened, we'd go with it. It is what it is. :)

[vix.livejournal.com]

I will admit I am puzzled how you and Cayne and aquariumgirl manage it without jealousies cropping up between Cayne and aquariumgirl for your time. I think that may be more of a product of my confusion over how poly relationships work in general.

[picoland.livejournal.com]

hmm , guess the definition of "queer" has changed. Then again, gay used to mean happy....
( I would consider you Bi, imo - queer to me seems mono-sexual lifestyle choice )

but it's your right to call yourself whatver you want G. party on dudes!

[picoland.livejournal.com]

So, you are married but have a same-sex relationship and are going through the fertility thing with Ze- is he just a donor?

::scratches head::
color me a tetch confundido

[geminigirl]

I'm married to zedrikcayne who lives with me in a house in Florida. aquariumgirl is married to john_5 and they live together with their two children in Maryland. I've been involved with aquariumgirl since 2001, when I was living in Washington DC. I've been married to Cayne for almost two years.

Cayne is not "just a donor", if we're lucky enough to find some way to have a family, he will be my partner and co-parent in things. (You would think if I were choosing donors I'd choose ones that didn't bring their own fertility issues to the table, no?:P)

I think I'll color you pink, if that's okay.

[vix.livejournal.com]

This may be getting way too personal and please feel free to politely decline to answer since it's none of my business, but I'm curious and I feel I can ask without offending you.

Is john_5 poly? He is aware of your relationship with aquariumgirl, yes? How does that work for all four of you?

I've never known a poly person before so I don't have any avenue for my questions -- I'm sorry!

[geminigirl]

No worries. If it's too personal to answer in comments, I'll drop you an e-mail (and perhaps this time it won't get lost in the ether-did you ever get any of my e-mails?)

John is aware of my relationship with aquariumgirl. I don't know how he would label his own relationship orientation, so I can't really answer the "is he poly" part though.

How does it work for all four of us...that's a really interesting question. I've never actually really thought about it. It's really (I think) two separate husband-wife relationships that function independently of one another (my relationship with Cayne, and their relationship) with a third relationship which is in the sphere of influence of the other two. My relationship with her is certainly influenced by the relationships we have with others, but it exists in many ways, independently though with attention to the other relationships.

That's not to say that there isn't mutual affection for the people we're not involved with. I think if we didn't like and respect each other, it wouldn't work.

What an interesting question. I may have more answer for you later.

[vix.livejournal.com]

You know, it might be a product of my background in sociology over psychology that I'm more intrigued by the social dynamics of the group rather than the individual perspectives. Also, my fascination with relationships in general always brings such questions to the forefront. My slight inexperience with the romantic variety combined with my innate undercurrent of romanticism that operates in spite of my inexperience -- as well as a healthy imagination -- creates all sorts of scenarios and how they might work.

That last sentence alone is evocative of the muddiness of my mind on this matter. :)

And no, I didn't get either email! Damn! Did you try the Gmail address?

[vix.livejournal.com]

Here's another monkeywrench to further gum up the question:

All too often, we hear that relationships are "work" or that they take "work" to function properly for all involved. It doesn't sound like your relationship with aquariumgirl necessarily takes a lot of 'work' but just functions seamlessly on its own, which could also be why the question of "how does that work for all four of you?" has never been an issue. It isn't a question of "how" necessarily, but "why does it just seem to work without effort?" -- that is, if that is indeed the case.

[alibee.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU ARE TEH GAY??!!!!??!1111one

(just kidding. for some reason responding like that amused me.)

[geminigirl]

Yes, so I will pursue you on the intarweb until you leave Brandon and live happily ever after in lebianic harmony with me.

[alibee.livejournal.com]

Rowr!

:)

Yesterday my friend was telling me a story about how his college, whose symbol was a paw (I think its mascot was a bear or wildcat of some sort) had a gay fellowship organization who made stickers that were rainbow-colored paws. Apparently at the grocery store, someone saw this sticker on his car and came on to him... because they thought it meant he was a furry.

That made me giggle. :)

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

lebianic harmony

I suddenly have this image in my head of a choir made up of femmes, butches, and betweeners singing in harmony!!!

Would they make those of us who are bi sing between the notes?

[fairion.livejournal.com]

It is horrid sometimes what CPS considers when doing screenings. If you want to talk about adoption screenings and issues, I can share some stories. Just email me.