Dude, at least make an effort

[geminigirl]

So today is my birthday. And while a fuss of the kind that I made for Cayne's birthday isn't at all required, an effort would have been nice.



Here's how it's gone down so far:

Thursday night, in the car on the way to the Weird Al concert (tickets were his birthday gift) a conversation where I said "Please don't buy me another jewelry box." He'd puchased one for me as a Chanukah gift, and it was something I'd wanted, but unfortunately, he didn't buy one with the kind of necklace storage I needed (the primary reason for my asking for a jewelry box in the first place.) I have the one he bought, and it's fine, but I really don't have space for another.

Friday afternoon, I was on the phone with him, and I said, "Hey, why don't we just go to Macy's together on Sunday, and I'll pick out the earings I want and then we'll go get some dinner." To which he responded, "I was kind o fthinking about suggesting that. Except for the dinner part."

Okay, fine. Sort of. I mean, while there's no reason necessarily for us to go out to dinner, it might be nice, you know, to go out to dinner, or something. I don't mind cooking, but it's nice to let someone else do it once in a while. But whatever. Really, all I wanted was Chinese food, and that could even have meant picking up take out from the place I like. And that's what we're going to do tonight.

Saturday, I went to do the grocery shopping. I called him from the grocery store and said, "Hey, did you do anything about a cake or not? If you didn't, I'm going to pick up something at the Publix when I'm there." Of course not. So I picked up something that looked interesting to me.

Today...nothing. Not a birthday card or anything. I did get a "happy birthday" when I woke up.

Seriously, my crazy half sister who speaks to no one in the family other than her brother always remembers to send me a birthday card.

So, I'm a bit bitter and pouty. I don't require a big fuss, but a little effort would have been appreciated.

Comments

[3-black-cats.livejournal.com]

So sorry you have reason to be a bit bitter and pouty on your special day.

Sending you happy birthday wishes!

[geminigirl]

Thanks. I just feel like I don't write anymore in LJ...I haven't written about the snake in the yard, or watching the lizards, or my school work, or how I'm frustrated with immigration, or anything. And the first thing I feel like writing about in weeks is me being grouchy. Somehow things just don't seem right here.

[jpallan.livejournal.com]

It's your space. I spend a lot of my time lately bitching about my wedding preparations, and I'm sure that's no more interesting than being grouchy. But it's your space. You need to use it as you want.

[tisiphone.livejournal.com]

That's not very thoughtful at all :(

[quasigeostrophy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sorry to hear you're not having a good day.

[sweet-tea79.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know it's not the same but happy birthday from me and Mike. :)

[posthaste.livejournal.com]

bad husband. no biscuit!

seriously -- that's not cool. you should do something nice for yourself today.

happy birthday! <3

[geminigirl]

If it weren't Sunday, I'd have probably gone for a pedicure, but I haven't found a place I like to go yet, and I hate being a walk in on a Sunday. Might do it later in the week though.

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

That's no good. :(

I'm sending super happy birthday wishes your way!

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Phooey.

Happy birthday, anyway.

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

Wow, that really stinks. :( You deserve a happy day.

[points.livejournal.com]

*Smooch!*

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

I think it's time to whack him with a stick.

But, happy birthday, regardless.

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Sounds like my birthday in 2006. I am going to hope he just had a big awesome surprise that wasn't ready yet.

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

Maybe he is planning a surprise party. Has to be. Or something of that nature.

[geminigirl]

So not his style. :) It would be nice though.

[messyjessy.livejournal.com]

If we still lived in the same city, I'd totally go out to dinner with me.

[messyjessy.livejournal.com]

Er, dinner with YOU.

[geminigirl]

Thanks. I hope your move is going well and you're getting settled.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

happy birthday, E. you deserve a special and happy day - i hope that day comes through for you, even though today is not it. and i hope the chinese food is good, i am having a crazy chinese craving.

[geminigirl]

I'd been having one too; there's a place that does pretty decent Chinese near where we used to live, which makes it inconvenient to get food from there now, so we stopped on the way home from shopping, and I have soup and egg roll and stuff.

[fjordhopper.livejournal.com]

With everything you've been going through (re: infertility & etc) you totally deserve some special treatment.

So here are some big Happy Birthday Wishes!!! I hope it helps in a small way to make you feel a little bit better.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday!

And with all that is going on, you do deserve something nice.

[icelore.livejournal.com]

Ouch. :( That would seriously be an issue with me. I don't like feeling taken for granted or undervalued in a relationship. It pisses me off to no end.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Ick, I'm sorry. :( I think ofbirthdays as holidays. They don't have to be fancy, but sheould be acknowledged.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

This is exactly the kind of thing that would get under my skin. And it's something that's happened in my marriage too. It sucks.

Regardless of how Cayne feels about birthdays, he needs to pay attention to how you feel about them.

Grr. I'm sorry. And happy birthday.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

You deserve better. Happy birthday, you, anyway.

[charleshaynes.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're not getting what you want, and it seems like you made it pretty clear too!

It's hard for me to relate to on a visceral level, since I'm totally not into celebrating my own birthday, but it's clear that it's important to you and you've made that known and it's not happening. That sucks.

Hope things get better.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

And here I thought I was high maintenance because I want any birthday cards to be signed.

Happy belated birthday, birthday twin. :)

[fairion.livejournal.com]

*hugs* that stinks. You deserve so much better. Happy belated birthday from all of us.

[picoland.livejournal.com]

awws, Happy Birthday anyways.

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Belated happy birthday... hope it improved...


And I miss you in LJ.

(And if you want a beach trip my father still really likes the idea of my friends venturing thataway, particularly when my stepmother's in DC. He'll cook :) )

[vix.livejournal.com]

Belated happy birthday wishes from me, and I too miss you in LJ, though I echo an earlier poster who said this space needs to be for what you need it to be. Or something more grammatically accurate and less confusing.

I'm sorry Cayne was a dunderhead. Have you said flat-out how hurt you are when he doesn't do thoughtful things for you (even ONE thoughtful thing) on your birthday? I have to assume he doesn't want any sort of fuss whatsoever on his own birthday, judging from the way he treats yours...