Ins and Outs

[geminigirl]

There's something to be said for having been outed at work. I didn't have to go through the "Yes I'm bisexual" etc. conversation today when talking to the new guy.

But we're having the boundary thing again. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life, often involving gay men.

So, the new guy found out that I was into leather/bdsm stuff. It's not something I go out of my way to hide, but it's also not something super-public at work. So the boundary thing...I don't need to know that you were looking for a "well hung bottom boy who likes to play hard."

*sigh*

It's bound to happen. I'll let it go, but if it goes overboard I'll cross that bridge when it does.


Someone got outed to me at work too. I had no idea about this person and other people said something about him being gay. While I don't care about his orientation, I do care that he was outed. It's not right for that to be disclosed, accidentally or on purpose to me.

Comments

[fj.livejournal.com]

While I don't care about his orientation, I do care that he was outed. It's not right for that to be disclosed, accidentally or on purpose to me.

Why not? Being a homo is no Big Dark Secret. There more you treat it as such, the more it becomes one.

Outings

[geminigirl]

It's not "big dark secret" material, you're right. At the same time, I have to respect everyone's own comfort level with their outness, and just because the rest of this office is queer as a football bat, and rather rowdy about it, that doesn't mean that everyone is, nor that they should be expected to be that way. Here, we've got an incredibly affirming and accepting office, so it's a non-issue if someone isn't or is a "big gay homosexual." I think that's why maybe I'm so casual about people not being out or being out.

It's less important to me personally to be out in general as an lgbt person here than it has been at other places where there weren't out lgbt people, where there wasn't any affirmation etc. of that group. It's more important to be to be out specifically as bisexual here-there's still biphobia all over the place.