Oops

[geminigirl]

So, in the post about Beta and his new collar, I forgot that it would take a while for me to get used to it too. I hear the bell and think it's Oblivion and then this small orange face pops up or swats or nips at me.

Comments

For you and you kitties...

[rapha.livejournal.com]

A CAT'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

My human will never let me eat his/her pet hamster, and I am at peace
with that.

Will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then
pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and
stare into his/her eyes until he/she/it wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
leaves.

I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.

I will not complain that my bottom is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.

I will not intrude on my human's candlelit bubble bath and singe my
bottom.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it
dissolves in boiling coffee.

When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not
bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and
try to open it up to get the birds out.

I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will
move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's/he's on the
family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, his/her forearms are NOT a
hammock.

I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important
emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up)off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside. (This would explain oh-so-many things!)

I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start writing
things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like "MEAN!!" "BITER!!!" and "GET HELP!!"

If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap.

Re: For you and you kitties...

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Too funny! *chortle* Especially the Thundering Herds of the Serengetti... Preia sure does that.

Re: For you and you kitties...

[geminigirl]

I need to add one...

"I will not try and swing from the chandelier"

Because Betamonster tried to do that the other day.

[nadeera.livejournal.com]

My human is NOT a tree, therefore I will not run full speed at her from another room, land on her back and climb up to her shoulders, using all four claws when I start to lose my balance.

[geminigirl]

Plasic grocery bags are not a toy, nor a cat carrier.
The bottom shelf of the fridge is not a good place for me to sleep.

[katishna.livejournal.com]

Mommy's tummy is neither a trampoline nor a springboard.