It would be so "Priscilla"
Jun. 21st, 2003 11:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminigirlI got a phone call from my friend Scott this morning. This in and of itself is not unusual...nor was the conversation that started out "Is it wrong to sleep with someone who is really cute and is on his way to being a rock star if it might advance your careeer?"
That's Scott.
So the background...
Scott is my best friend from college. We met my first year, when I dated his roommate. (Scott lived in a room with three other guys, all named Dan. He was the gay one. Three of these things belong together, three of these things are kind of the same. One of these things is not like the other...) Scott and I were virtually inseperable that year...despite my dating Dan. I was almost always in their room. Scott is the person who went with me to the ER when I broke my ankle. My mother was baffled by the fact that I was certain that Scott was not interested in me at all in any way deeper than friendship until I told her he was gay. And ever since then, she's referred to him as Scott, (said with something that falls between disdain and scorn) accompanied by a limp wrist motion. He in turn, refers to her as "your Mother" with the same tone, and limp wrist motion. In his case it's more of a joke. He's amused by the whole thing. It was a running joke that starting in our first year, every time he got laid, he'd call me. And he did...almost always. He still does, sometimes, although now, I'll often get e-mail instead of phone calls, to save long distance charges. With basic details about the guy. I got calls while men were still getting dressed in his room that said "Go get a movie, and come over. I'll order the chinese food, what do you want?" And there was a parade of men in and out of his room. One year we ended up living accross a parking lot from one another, in different buildings. His apartment was one floor down and on the opposite side of the parking lot for him. We'd stand in the room and talk on the phone while watching each other through the windows. I saw some things that weren't intended for public viewing, but he left the blinds open. We went through the parade of boyfriends (mine and his.) We drank too much, partied too hard, cried, laughed and loved. Scott is the reason I came out and stayed sane. And the person who taught me how to make being queer the part of me that it is, without overwhelming the rest of me. He taught me to navigate "the gayborhood" in DC, we had our favorite places...there are stories upon stories of what we did.
So Scott is still one of my favorite people. He's the one who taught me the essence of cattiness. I learned how to be a gay man (as much as I can be, anyway) from him. He's fun, and exciting, and good to spend time with.
And he's moving to LA. And while I'm sad that he'll be accross the country from me, it's one of the best things for him. It's essential for his career in the music industry, which is what he wants to do (no, he's not a performer, although he is a talented musician) that he be in one of very few places...LA, NYC among them. And he loves LA, and has found some part time work there until he finds something permanent.
He's looking for someone to drive cross country with him, from Boston where he now lives to LA. He asked if I wanted to come along. Would I? I'd LOVE to. I'd get a vacation, something I've been clamboring for, with a good friend, doing something I've wanted to do for years-drive cross country. He's offered to pay for my plane ticket to Boston and from LA, to teach me to drive a stick shift before we leave so I can help with the driving, and to cover almost all of the expenses. (I'd basically end up paying for food and incidentals along the way. Things like admission to Graceland, and any gambling in Vegas if I wanted to...) I'd love to do it. It would be so "Priscilla." Mom and one of her best friends did it 30+ years ago (including a call to my Dad at three am, collect from Winnemucca NV) So why am I stressing it so much?
I didn't say yes. Nor did I say no. I just sort of said, "let's talk about it later?"
Edit: Talked it over briefly with my parents, laying out the two major concerns-where to put my car for an entire week so I don't have to pay for airport parking and it's safe, and finding a cat sitter. Both Mom and Dad think it sounds good, and that it's an opportunity that one doesn't get often. Mom offered to contribute $100 towards my trip expenses. I'll think about it some more and talk to work on Monday.
That's Scott.
So the background...
Scott is my best friend from college. We met my first year, when I dated his roommate. (Scott lived in a room with three other guys, all named Dan. He was the gay one. Three of these things belong together, three of these things are kind of the same. One of these things is not like the other...) Scott and I were virtually inseperable that year...despite my dating Dan. I was almost always in their room. Scott is the person who went with me to the ER when I broke my ankle. My mother was baffled by the fact that I was certain that Scott was not interested in me at all in any way deeper than friendship until I told her he was gay. And ever since then, she's referred to him as Scott, (said with something that falls between disdain and scorn) accompanied by a limp wrist motion. He in turn, refers to her as "your Mother" with the same tone, and limp wrist motion. In his case it's more of a joke. He's amused by the whole thing. It was a running joke that starting in our first year, every time he got laid, he'd call me. And he did...almost always. He still does, sometimes, although now, I'll often get e-mail instead of phone calls, to save long distance charges. With basic details about the guy. I got calls while men were still getting dressed in his room that said "Go get a movie, and come over. I'll order the chinese food, what do you want?" And there was a parade of men in and out of his room. One year we ended up living accross a parking lot from one another, in different buildings. His apartment was one floor down and on the opposite side of the parking lot for him. We'd stand in the room and talk on the phone while watching each other through the windows. I saw some things that weren't intended for public viewing, but he left the blinds open. We went through the parade of boyfriends (mine and his.) We drank too much, partied too hard, cried, laughed and loved. Scott is the reason I came out and stayed sane. And the person who taught me how to make being queer the part of me that it is, without overwhelming the rest of me. He taught me to navigate "the gayborhood" in DC, we had our favorite places...there are stories upon stories of what we did.
So Scott is still one of my favorite people. He's the one who taught me the essence of cattiness. I learned how to be a gay man (as much as I can be, anyway) from him. He's fun, and exciting, and good to spend time with.
And he's moving to LA. And while I'm sad that he'll be accross the country from me, it's one of the best things for him. It's essential for his career in the music industry, which is what he wants to do (no, he's not a performer, although he is a talented musician) that he be in one of very few places...LA, NYC among them. And he loves LA, and has found some part time work there until he finds something permanent.
He's looking for someone to drive cross country with him, from Boston where he now lives to LA. He asked if I wanted to come along. Would I? I'd LOVE to. I'd get a vacation, something I've been clamboring for, with a good friend, doing something I've wanted to do for years-drive cross country. He's offered to pay for my plane ticket to Boston and from LA, to teach me to drive a stick shift before we leave so I can help with the driving, and to cover almost all of the expenses. (I'd basically end up paying for food and incidentals along the way. Things like admission to Graceland, and any gambling in Vegas if I wanted to...) I'd love to do it. It would be so "Priscilla." Mom and one of her best friends did it 30+ years ago (including a call to my Dad at three am, collect from Winnemucca NV) So why am I stressing it so much?
I didn't say yes. Nor did I say no. I just sort of said, "let's talk about it later?"
Edit: Talked it over briefly with my parents, laying out the two major concerns-where to put my car for an entire week so I don't have to pay for airport parking and it's safe, and finding a cat sitter. Both Mom and Dad think it sounds good, and that it's an opportunity that one doesn't get often. Mom offered to contribute $100 towards my trip expenses. I'll think about it some more and talk to work on Monday.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 09:40 am (UTC)Pride weekend here in LA/WeHo.
James
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 09:46 am (UTC)Enjoy pride! Ours was kind of rainy this year...
Any suggestions on the most fabulous places to go in LA?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 01:13 pm (UTC)It looks like we're also going to have a wet pride this year. It's been drizzling off and on throughout the morning.
Sorry, I don't know any fabulous places to visit in LA other than the usual tourist destinations. We're basically homebodies and rarely go out. Besides, I suspect that we're of different generations and our definition of what is fabulous is different. LOL
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 08:56 pm (UTC)He's been to LA before, and enjoyed it. I'm glad he'll be somewhere he might be happy, and where there are lots of boys for him. I worry about him though.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 09:50 am (UTC)Your hair might frizzle from the humidty.
There, now you have a reson not to go. Enjoy the regret for the next ten years.
It's all about the Benjamins
Date: 2003-06-21 09:52 am (UTC)And while my Mom's contribution helps, it's still a stretch.
I'm still seriously thinking about it...leaning towards yes, assuming I can get enough time off.
Re: It's all about the Benjamins
Date: 2003-06-22 08:54 am (UTC)(THE DRIVE, silly.)
And I really think you have to figure out a way to make this work, because it's just too sweet of an opportunity.
Re: It's all about the Benjamins
Date: 2003-06-22 08:55 pm (UTC)I'm going to see about getting the time off...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 09:40 am (UTC)Oh, and if you DO come out here, you're going to HAVE to stop in SF, whether with Scott or without. There's crash space at our house!
Lisa
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 09:47 am (UTC)Ok, I'm MASing, but this is silly...
Date: 2003-06-21 10:30 am (UTC)Look pitiful enough and you can probably convince me to babysit 2 extra cats for a week, though they'll have to deal with being fed twice a day not having food down all day if they come to our house. If that doesn't seem possible, I have contact info for a good petsitter that's no more than 10 bucks a day (duno if they do any discount for a week or more's service).
Yeah, you gotta get the time off work. That seems like the only issue to me. If there's an underlying issue, you have to face that, but if the logistics are your only issues, they're very easily dealt with.
I want to do this with my best friend so badly. We drove VA to LA for my wedding together (Scherz went a week ahead of me), and it was a wonderful experience... you get to recapture that responsibility-less joy that we just don't have any more...
Re: Ok, I'm MASing, but this is silly...
Date: 2003-06-21 10:46 am (UTC)I might be able to get some combination of a karate friend who has much kittylove and no kitties to do some of the pet sitting, and
I've got a lot of vacation time, but I'm also taking a week off post-tonsils, which makes me sort of think twice (which also reminds me, if you and Scherz are still willing to babysit me post-tonsillectomy, I need help the 18th-a Friday and 19th-a Saturday) but late August is slow for me in terms of programs...it's report writing time, but I can get what I need to done on that before I leave, when I return, and if necessary, via e-mail while I'm gone. Unless we get the other SAMHSA grant we applied for, which means some changes and transitions, it should be fairly quite.
Your last line-the part about responsibility-less joy...that's just...that's exactly it. That's what I'm looking for. The fact that the person who I'd go on this trip with said "it would be so Priscilla" brings all that back...because this is someone who knows that part of my life because he lived it with me, not because of the stories I can tell about crazy things we did.
I want to do this. I'm stressed about money. And time. But you don't get this opportunity very often...I'm going to talk to work about it on Monday I think...I don't take vacations, and this is a good chance to do that.
Time Or Money?
Date: 2003-06-21 11:04 am (UTC)I understand money worries. My opinion fits in with the rest, however...if there's anyway to do it...Go for it! Driving cross country with a much loved friend is one of my dreams too.
Of course its your decision...etc..etc...
Good Luck!!!
Re: Ok, I'm MASing, but this is silly...
Date: 2003-06-23 08:27 am (UTC)Also look into Washington Flyer.
I think the cross country drive idea totally rocks :)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 11:21 am (UTC)Had a *wonderful* time, despite the fact that we drove without much interruption. I'd love to do another long drive with a good friend. Maybe fly into Seattle and drive up to Alaska, and then fly back. Or down to California and up to Seattle. *sigh*
Where this is a will there is a way! I hope you go.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-23 06:21 pm (UTC)