Sun comes up it's Tuesday Morning

It's been a long time since I had a nightmare...but I had one last night. I'm fairly sure that it's related to the conversation I had with roosterbear on Sunday night, but either way, it woke me a bit after five, in a panic.

Hrm. Already frustrated with my boss this AM. She's just being a moron. I'm short on patience though, so I'm trying to keep it under control.

So, here's what I'm wondering about. I had a really cool dress on Saturday night. Simple, black wrap dress. Got lots of complements on it, etc. And on the outfit I wore today to work, I got a lot of complements. But in the back of my head I always wonder if the complements are more like "Wow, that's a great outfit. (for a fat chick)", or "You look really great today, (for a fat chick)" Obviously where the latter part is left unsaid.

I know I should just take complements kindly, when they're given...but after so many years of people being unpleasant and beating me down for it, it's hard not to wonder. Though I do always say "Thank you."

We now return you to our regularly scheduled work day.

Deep Throat Dead. No News on Watergate.

Okay, not that Deep Throat.

From today's Washington Post...

Linda Lovelace, the porn star has died.

Sad.

I have strage memories of watching "Deep Throat" and "Behind the Green Door" the summer I was 16. At summer camp...sneaking off with my girlfriend (first ever) to the video studio to watch the movies, late at night. I'm not sure which was more thrilling-the thrill of sneaking out, which was always fun at camp, or the thrill of watching porn for the first time. I just remember how it felt, how electric her touch was, her hand on my knee. I remember holding her hand, and talking about how weird stuff was after. I remember who was there, that there were counselors there who knew we weren't supposed be there, and could have gotten into a great deal of trouble for letting us in, and inviting us. I remember that she was 14...two years younger than I am, and in retrospect, I wonder what they were thinking. But even so, my introduction to the Wide World of Porn (tm) was at least classic and memorable. Summer, sweat, mosquito bites, her bandanas holding her hair back, the way she wore her shorts hanging down, and tie dye and all that.

Wow. It's nearly eleven years since all of that-I hadn't realized that. I wonder sort of, where she is now.