The Downside

I do love the idea of owning a house. It's a great thing, the whole equity equation, and being able to paint the walls as I want without thinking about what a landlord would say, or worry about holes in the walls or all sorts of other things that one thinks about when renting a place.

But there's a downside. A very serious downside. A very serious and personal and difficult downside. It's not about money, or space, or the Home Owner's Association or the stress of moving. I hate that someone here thought a political ad that says "Sorry, Charlie. Only Jeb Bush Conservatives get to be governor" was a good idea. It's about being here.

I hate Florida. I hate it a great deal. I hate the weather. I don't like the politics. I don't like the people. I don't like the lifestyle. I just don't like it. It's the best place for zedrikcayne to be though, in terms of his career and his goals. And in his field, once you get to EA, there aren't many other places to go.

I've held out a little bit of hope that Cayne would spend a few years here, in Orlando, and then we'd move on to another division of EA-and there are lots of options; the Bay Area, Vancouver, Montreal and NoVa, just in North America. I can't do that anymore. I can't pretend that this isn't a long term deal. We're here, and we're staying, for the forseable future. And that's really hard for me.

I would like to be in a place I loved, a place where there was a real job market for me, where the things to do were more interesting to me, where I liked the people I met, where the political climate were more to my liking and so on and so on. And I do try to make my own happiness. I just feel very stuck.

We're here. It's not what I'd have chosen for myself. I share my life with a partner I love, and who I wouldn't give up for anything, and three wonderful cats. I have a pretty house. There are in fact good things about my life. That whole seeing the forest for the trees thing.

I hold out hope that it will get better. I'm not seeking sympathy here. It's life. It's the life that I (mostly) chose, and it's mostly satisfactory. But it's hard to be truly happy when you don't like the place you're at.

And if anyone wondered why I thought Florida Politics sucked

Besides the fact that they thought it was a good idea to elect Katherine Harris, who played a significant role in the debacle that was the 2000 presidential election...

Today was primary day. So I went and voted. But of course, the airwaves have been filled with political ads leading up to today's primary.

Republican candidate 1 has an ad that attacks Republican candidate 2. Republican candidate 1's ad includes "Sorry, Charlie, only Jeb Bush conservatives get to be president." Republican candidate 2's ad includes "pro-life, Ronald Reagan republican you can trust."

Blech.