Interview Questions
Mar. 7th, 2004 10:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminigirlUsual Rules Apply...if you want five questions for yourself, leave me a comment, and I'll do five for you. You answer them in your own journal and make the same offer to your readers.
That said, I know there are new readers since I last did this, so if you've got questions for me, I'll answer them.
Cut because I care...
from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
palliddreamer
1. Would you rather be able to fly or to become invisible? What would you do with your new power?
I have in the past said that one of the things I'd do if I were invisible is to go into places I'm not allowed, like the Dunes at Fire Island and see what the men do down there. I'd never want to invade space where men have sex with men like that and be noticed, but if I could do it and have them not know I'm there, I'd want to check it out.
It is, in fact all about the ManSex.
2. What's your favorite time of day? Explain.
I have a magnet on my fridge that says "We do not remember day, we remember moments" and I think that's how I think of the day...
I love the color of the sky, that velvet blue-purple color, just before the sun starts to come up. It's the only time of day it looks that particular shade to me. I like the moment when I come home from work, put my keys down, and Beta comes to say hello-in fact, I get worried when he doesn't meet me at the door, or isn't within my sight when I walk in. I look forward to whenfj logs into IRC because he makes me smile, and often makes me think about things that I don't want to think about without making it hurt too much. I like the time at night when Oblvion curls up in bed and purrs at me, while I fall asleep. I like the moments when Beta goes over to Oblivion and sticks his head under her face and she licks him.
I like the times when I'm not feeling overwhelmed by the fatigue that is all too present in my life for the last few years.
3. What's one thing you've never done, but really want to do?
Learn to speak Spanish
4. What's the most rewarding thing you've ever done?
There's a litany of things. So much of my work is rewarding on a day to day basis. My work is rewarding. Founding a women's center on campus where I went to grad school was rewarding. Surviving some of my previous relationships is rewarding. Speaking out as a sexual assault survivor. So many things have brought rewards...intangible ones into my life.
5. If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
If I were being selfish, and thinking only about me-Financial security, contentment, and good health. On a more global scale it's more difficult-I'd like to see countries not fighting anymore, I'd like to see an end to the ravages of disease in some places...not just AIDS, I'd like to see economies that weren't so disparate, and so on and so on and so on...
fromsandboxdiva
1. What is the most important piece of information you've picked up in life so far?
Live a good life as a good person, and live each day as best you can.
2. What are you most afraid of about growing old?
Lonliness. And being without my Mom-I have a relationship with her that wavers between healthy and co-dependent, and I know that I'd be lost without her when I need her.
3. What new thing did you notice today?
The way Beta looks when he has the back half of his body twisted one way, and the front half the other as he leans against the door to watch me while I get ready in the morning.
4. If you could be a toy, what would you be?
The plastic box with the cut outs and the shapes. Mine was red when I was a kid.
5. What will be the next milestone in your life?
My marriage tozedrikcayne is a pretty big one, although that's preceeded by actually moving to where he is and living with him. Kids are important too, as is grad school.
wait wants to know:
Do you think you’ll find satisfaction in the academic world after being so hands-on these past years?
A big part of what I'm passionate about is the teaching piece-sharing what I know...it's not just about the hands on aspect. I think so long as I have the opportunity to do that, I'm okay. I don't think I'll ever give up entirely the hands on aspect of what I do-I'll most likely be engaged in some element of volunteer work or something for a long time, and so that would give me the opportunity to continue to do some hands on work.
Do you parents know that your ideal mate may not be a nice Jewish boy? If they do, how did you tell them? If they don’t, why have you decided not to tell them?
They know about the "nice Jewish" part-and while not thrilled, they're okay with it-my mother far more than my Dad, but about a year ago, during a phone conversation about dating, and marriage and whatnot, Mom put Dad on the phone and had him tell me that he'd be okay with things, so long as I was happy. I think for my parents, a lot of it comes down to any offspring having a connection and understanding of their Jewish roots, which is important to me too. I think in a lot of ways, Humanistic Judaism might satisfy that for me. I'm not sure.
But that's not your whole question, and I'm avoiding the "boy" part, right? Here's the deal with that. I wasn't ready to come out to my parents when it happened. I don't know that I ever would have been, but it did happen. It happened when Mom and I were fighting about something totally unrelated, and I was miserable and home and unhappy and frustrated, and angry and ragingly queer. I don't know if she remembers, or if she thinks about it. And I think it would be a heartbreaker. I've sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) wondered if I might not identify as lesbian, or be more likely to get into different kinds of relationships with women, if there was a different attitude from there.
What has been the happiest moment in your life?
Don't know if I could pick just one. Many happy ones. Falling in love has been happy recently. Finding out my best friend was pregnant. Getting my degree. Knowing that the Wo/Men's Center would happen. Adopting Betakitty. A lot of things.
If you were placing a personals advertisement, what would it say? (30 words or less…)
Curvy bi-poly redhead seeks unboring person for LTR. Must have a good balance of spontaneity and sensibility. Must like cats.
(I don't have a personal ad up anywhere cause I can't write them.)
Dean, Clark or Kerry?
Whichever one will beat Bush in November. I don't talk about who I'm planning to vote for; it was something I was told as a child was inappropriate to ask, and so, while discussing politics isn't a no-no, I don't actually disclose who I'm voting for.
puzzld1 inquires:
1. So, how many pairs of overalls do you currently own?
I own three, I wear two. I own a black pair that has fallen apart so much it's unwearable, but I haven't parted with it yet, a pair of blue ones, and a pair of short blue ones, whichaquariumgirl likes because she can see my panties in them-they're kind of too big. I'd love to find a new pair of black ones, a pair of khaki or olive green ones, and my dream would be a pair of black velvet overalls.
2. what makes you an oatmeal doomcookie?
Ava. Or, more precisely...I'm rather adamant that I'm not goth. Even when I looked far gother than I do now. I'm much crunchier than I am goth, but I wasn't supercruchy either...kind of somewhere inbetween. So Oatmeal-not really granola, but still kinda that way, and doomcookie-not really goth, but still kinda that way. Thus I became Oatmeal Doomcookie, and it's stuck.
3. What's a memory you have of Molly that I can tell her that you think would make her smile?
She fell asleep at Ani Difranco in Central Park. That makes me smile. And the night that you and Ben and Ann and Molly and Gabriel and I were all at Barefoot Boogie-I think that was the first night you and I kissed-you're an incredible kisser. We were sitting on some steps, and you were feeding her, and we were talking. You looked so beautiful, and she looked serene. It was just...right. And also, at Gaylaxicon, when I walked her around and around and around the hotel so that you and Jed could spend some time alone. I had more people talking to me then for some reason, than any other time.
4. What songs make you smile?
There are so many...a lot of U2 songs, a lot of REM songs, The Proclaimers "I'm gonna be 500 Miles", NIN's Closer, some of the old Beastie Boys catalog, New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" oh, I could keep going and going and going....
5. What are the last 5 books you read?
I'm assuming you mean "finished" cause I'm in the middle of several, as usual.
I re-read Good Omens for the umptethousanth time. I finished one called Queen Be of Mimosa Branch by Haywood Smith-started slow, but kind of fun book. I re-read In the Company of my Solitude, which is a book of American writings about HIV and AIDS. I read Jane Green's Straight Talk which I didn't enjoy as much as her other books, and I read Gnomes which I hadn't seen since I was a kid, but C. and I found one copy of at Arisia, and so it was purchased and we decided we'd decide later who went home with it and never actually decided, and since it was in my bag, I have it right now.
fj asks
1) Describe your body how you see and experience it.
My body is a tool...I can do many things with it. Some days I love it. Some days it causes me pain. Some days I like only parts, and some days not at all. Sometimes other people appreciate things about it that I don't. My body is good for lots of things, and not for others. I can choose to share or not, to love or not.
2) Describe your body how your mother sees it.
My mother will obsess on my shape, and weight and size for my entire life. She won't ever let go of the idea that many body types can be beautiful, and attractive to different people. She would also never get my bear fetish.
3) Which boundary in human relationships do you wish did not exist in your current culture?
Tough choice. I'm not sure if I'd pick the fear of touch or the challenge to communicate.
4) How many kids are planned, when, and will the boys be circumcised?
We've talked about two. I don't think I'd object to three. In a few years, hopefully we'll be ready when I'm about 32 or 33. And the penis question. I don't know. I don't have one, and I have mixed feelings about it. I understand the religious connection. I also understand the appeal of not being cut. Without a penis of my own, or any real measure of the difference, I'm actually leaving that decision largely up tozedrikcayne to make, because he would have a better perspective than I do.
It does sound a bit like a cop out, but I think I'm just more comfortable that way.
5) What message do you give people when counselling them about cocaine usage?
I'm all about harm reduction. Which is to say that while abstaining is the safest choice, that's not the choice that everyone makes, and that people who choose not to abstain need to make choices that reduce harm as much as possible.
pinkfish asks:
1) Marriage shoe-horns your own romantic and sexual identity into a
strict box of "normal" behavior. True or false? Why?
It's a really interesting question. Does marriage change my identity as polyamorous, bisexual person? No. Does it change how I express that identity...maybe. I suspect it will very dramatically change others perception of my identity. Things like wearing a wedding ring, and other outward signs do affect people's interpretation.
I love the opportunity I have to be out now. My office knows that I'm bisexual, knows that I'm quite seriously involved withaquariumgirl, and now knows that I'm engaged to zedrikcayne. And I love that I can be that way, that I can talk about both of them (even if it means I endure a certain amount of teasing about threesomes.)
I expect marriage will alter others impression of me. I suspect it will alter some of the expressions of my identity. I don't think it will alter the essential core of my identities...I'll still be bisexual, I'll still be poly, and so on.
Not having been married before, I can't tell for sure what it will do, although from what I hear from other sources, it does alter your relationship.
I want to continue to live an out, proud life the way I have for the last nearly ten years. I want to continue to do the kinds of things that I've done, politically, socially and so on that enable me to do that. I will be doing it differently, because I'm partnered in a different way, but perhaps it will enable me to be more effective at some of the things that I care about because I can draw on my marriage for that.
2)
True or False:
"Hercules strangling his snake" needs to be added as an answer to one of
your polls.
Absolutely. When I come up with a new poll. Any suggestions?
3) Your cat can speak any single human language, if only she could be
bothered to. Which language would it be? why?
She doesn't have opposable thumbs, so ASL is out. I assume she would still be deaf though. It would kinda be nice if she could lipread English so that when I yelled at her, she'd get the hint. Although it would also be really practical to have someone speaking Spanish here.
4) Describe the perfect way to spend a sunny afternoon.
Sunny afternoons are perfect for jeans and t-shirts and birkenstocks. They're for walking up to DuPont Circle, getting coffee and a snack and hanging out on the edge of the fountain with good friends, talking about really important stuff and watching the eye candy. They're perfect for digging toes into the grass along the Mall with a good book, or a picnic. There's a special smell to a sunny afternoon, fresh, green. Take that in.
5) Have any of your charges ever managed to shock you will a report of
some sexual activity they have done? Details please.
I can't think of any sex act. It shocked me when a guy described how he sometimes hits something with his dick when he's having sex with his girlfriend, and it felt kind of weird. I asked him to put his finger on the tip of his nose and asked if that's what it felt like. Turns out he was hitting her cervix. He wanted to know if it hurt, and I told him that some women were more sensitive to that than others and that he needed to ask her.
It shocked me to hear that one of our peer educators might be pregnant...mostly because it's not something I'd expect from this particular one, although I do know a few things that despite her resilience could have affected her choices.
Using candy wrappers as condoms also got me, a bit. Of course after the group where that was disclosed, my mind wondered how in the world it fit. Then there's also the kid who disclosed both chlamydia and erectile dysfunction...the chlamydia was a private disclosure, the ED was public, in the middle of group, when talking about the effect of marijuana.
One of the things we've realized though is that we're not shocked by much that the kids we work with tell us. We kind of expect it.
So what do you want to know?
That said, I know there are new readers since I last did this, so if you've got questions for me, I'll answer them.
Cut because I care...
from
palliddreamer1. Would you rather be able to fly or to become invisible? What would you do with your new power?
I have in the past said that one of the things I'd do if I were invisible is to go into places I'm not allowed, like the Dunes at Fire Island and see what the men do down there. I'd never want to invade space where men have sex with men like that and be noticed, but if I could do it and have them not know I'm there, I'd want to check it out.
It is, in fact all about the ManSex.
2. What's your favorite time of day? Explain.
I have a magnet on my fridge that says "We do not remember day, we remember moments" and I think that's how I think of the day...
I love the color of the sky, that velvet blue-purple color, just before the sun starts to come up. It's the only time of day it looks that particular shade to me. I like the moment when I come home from work, put my keys down, and Beta comes to say hello-in fact, I get worried when he doesn't meet me at the door, or isn't within my sight when I walk in. I look forward to when
fj logs into IRC because he makes me smile, and often makes me think about things that I don't want to think about without making it hurt too much. I like the time at night when Oblvion curls up in bed and purrs at me, while I fall asleep. I like the moments when Beta goes over to Oblivion and sticks his head under her face and she licks him.I like the times when I'm not feeling overwhelmed by the fatigue that is all too present in my life for the last few years.
3. What's one thing you've never done, but really want to do?
Learn to speak Spanish
4. What's the most rewarding thing you've ever done?
There's a litany of things. So much of my work is rewarding on a day to day basis. My work is rewarding. Founding a women's center on campus where I went to grad school was rewarding. Surviving some of my previous relationships is rewarding. Speaking out as a sexual assault survivor. So many things have brought rewards...intangible ones into my life.
5. If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
If I were being selfish, and thinking only about me-Financial security, contentment, and good health. On a more global scale it's more difficult-I'd like to see countries not fighting anymore, I'd like to see an end to the ravages of disease in some places...not just AIDS, I'd like to see economies that weren't so disparate, and so on and so on and so on...
from
sandboxdiva1. What is the most important piece of information you've picked up in life so far?
Live a good life as a good person, and live each day as best you can.
2. What are you most afraid of about growing old?
Lonliness. And being without my Mom-I have a relationship with her that wavers between healthy and co-dependent, and I know that I'd be lost without her when I need her.
3. What new thing did you notice today?
The way Beta looks when he has the back half of his body twisted one way, and the front half the other as he leans against the door to watch me while I get ready in the morning.
4. If you could be a toy, what would you be?
The plastic box with the cut outs and the shapes. Mine was red when I was a kid.
5. What will be the next milestone in your life?
My marriage to
zedrikcayne is a pretty big one, although that's preceeded by actually moving to where he is and living with him. Kids are important too, as is grad school.wait wants to know:Do you think you’ll find satisfaction in the academic world after being so hands-on these past years?
A big part of what I'm passionate about is the teaching piece-sharing what I know...it's not just about the hands on aspect. I think so long as I have the opportunity to do that, I'm okay. I don't think I'll ever give up entirely the hands on aspect of what I do-I'll most likely be engaged in some element of volunteer work or something for a long time, and so that would give me the opportunity to continue to do some hands on work.
Do you parents know that your ideal mate may not be a nice Jewish boy? If they do, how did you tell them? If they don’t, why have you decided not to tell them?
They know about the "nice Jewish" part-and while not thrilled, they're okay with it-my mother far more than my Dad, but about a year ago, during a phone conversation about dating, and marriage and whatnot, Mom put Dad on the phone and had him tell me that he'd be okay with things, so long as I was happy. I think for my parents, a lot of it comes down to any offspring having a connection and understanding of their Jewish roots, which is important to me too. I think in a lot of ways, Humanistic Judaism might satisfy that for me. I'm not sure.
But that's not your whole question, and I'm avoiding the "boy" part, right? Here's the deal with that. I wasn't ready to come out to my parents when it happened. I don't know that I ever would have been, but it did happen. It happened when Mom and I were fighting about something totally unrelated, and I was miserable and home and unhappy and frustrated, and angry and ragingly queer. I don't know if she remembers, or if she thinks about it. And I think it would be a heartbreaker. I've sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) wondered if I might not identify as lesbian, or be more likely to get into different kinds of relationships with women, if there was a different attitude from there.
What has been the happiest moment in your life?
Don't know if I could pick just one. Many happy ones. Falling in love has been happy recently. Finding out my best friend was pregnant. Getting my degree. Knowing that the Wo/Men's Center would happen. Adopting Betakitty. A lot of things.
If you were placing a personals advertisement, what would it say? (30 words or less…)
Curvy bi-poly redhead seeks unboring person for LTR. Must have a good balance of spontaneity and sensibility. Must like cats.
(I don't have a personal ad up anywhere cause I can't write them.)
Dean, Clark or Kerry?
Whichever one will beat Bush in November. I don't talk about who I'm planning to vote for; it was something I was told as a child was inappropriate to ask, and so, while discussing politics isn't a no-no, I don't actually disclose who I'm voting for.
puzzld1 inquires:1. So, how many pairs of overalls do you currently own?
I own three, I wear two. I own a black pair that has fallen apart so much it's unwearable, but I haven't parted with it yet, a pair of blue ones, and a pair of short blue ones, which
aquariumgirl likes because she can see my panties in them-they're kind of too big. I'd love to find a new pair of black ones, a pair of khaki or olive green ones, and my dream would be a pair of black velvet overalls.2. what makes you an oatmeal doomcookie?
Ava. Or, more precisely...I'm rather adamant that I'm not goth. Even when I looked far gother than I do now. I'm much crunchier than I am goth, but I wasn't supercruchy either...kind of somewhere inbetween. So Oatmeal-not really granola, but still kinda that way, and doomcookie-not really goth, but still kinda that way. Thus I became Oatmeal Doomcookie, and it's stuck.
3. What's a memory you have of Molly that I can tell her that you think would make her smile?
She fell asleep at Ani Difranco in Central Park. That makes me smile. And the night that you and Ben and Ann and Molly and Gabriel and I were all at Barefoot Boogie-I think that was the first night you and I kissed-you're an incredible kisser. We were sitting on some steps, and you were feeding her, and we were talking. You looked so beautiful, and she looked serene. It was just...right. And also, at Gaylaxicon, when I walked her around and around and around the hotel so that you and Jed could spend some time alone. I had more people talking to me then for some reason, than any other time.
4. What songs make you smile?
There are so many...a lot of U2 songs, a lot of REM songs, The Proclaimers "I'm gonna be 500 Miles", NIN's Closer, some of the old Beastie Boys catalog, New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" oh, I could keep going and going and going....
5. What are the last 5 books you read?
I'm assuming you mean "finished" cause I'm in the middle of several, as usual.
I re-read Good Omens for the umptethousanth time. I finished one called Queen Be of Mimosa Branch by Haywood Smith-started slow, but kind of fun book. I re-read In the Company of my Solitude, which is a book of American writings about HIV and AIDS. I read Jane Green's Straight Talk which I didn't enjoy as much as her other books, and I read Gnomes which I hadn't seen since I was a kid, but C. and I found one copy of at Arisia, and so it was purchased and we decided we'd decide later who went home with it and never actually decided, and since it was in my bag, I have it right now.
fj asks1) Describe your body how you see and experience it.
My body is a tool...I can do many things with it. Some days I love it. Some days it causes me pain. Some days I like only parts, and some days not at all. Sometimes other people appreciate things about it that I don't. My body is good for lots of things, and not for others. I can choose to share or not, to love or not.
2) Describe your body how your mother sees it.
My mother will obsess on my shape, and weight and size for my entire life. She won't ever let go of the idea that many body types can be beautiful, and attractive to different people. She would also never get my bear fetish.
3) Which boundary in human relationships do you wish did not exist in your current culture?
Tough choice. I'm not sure if I'd pick the fear of touch or the challenge to communicate.
4) How many kids are planned, when, and will the boys be circumcised?
We've talked about two. I don't think I'd object to three. In a few years, hopefully we'll be ready when I'm about 32 or 33. And the penis question. I don't know. I don't have one, and I have mixed feelings about it. I understand the religious connection. I also understand the appeal of not being cut. Without a penis of my own, or any real measure of the difference, I'm actually leaving that decision largely up to
zedrikcayne to make, because he would have a better perspective than I do. It does sound a bit like a cop out, but I think I'm just more comfortable that way.
5) What message do you give people when counselling them about cocaine usage?
I'm all about harm reduction. Which is to say that while abstaining is the safest choice, that's not the choice that everyone makes, and that people who choose not to abstain need to make choices that reduce harm as much as possible.
pinkfish asks:1) Marriage shoe-horns your own romantic and sexual identity into a
strict box of "normal" behavior. True or false? Why?
It's a really interesting question. Does marriage change my identity as polyamorous, bisexual person? No. Does it change how I express that identity...maybe. I suspect it will very dramatically change others perception of my identity. Things like wearing a wedding ring, and other outward signs do affect people's interpretation.
I love the opportunity I have to be out now. My office knows that I'm bisexual, knows that I'm quite seriously involved with
aquariumgirl, and now knows that I'm engaged to zedrikcayne. And I love that I can be that way, that I can talk about both of them (even if it means I endure a certain amount of teasing about threesomes.)I expect marriage will alter others impression of me. I suspect it will alter some of the expressions of my identity. I don't think it will alter the essential core of my identities...I'll still be bisexual, I'll still be poly, and so on.
Not having been married before, I can't tell for sure what it will do, although from what I hear from other sources, it does alter your relationship.
I want to continue to live an out, proud life the way I have for the last nearly ten years. I want to continue to do the kinds of things that I've done, politically, socially and so on that enable me to do that. I will be doing it differently, because I'm partnered in a different way, but perhaps it will enable me to be more effective at some of the things that I care about because I can draw on my marriage for that.
2)
True or False:"Hercules strangling his snake" needs to be added as an answer to one of
your polls.
Absolutely. When I come up with a new poll. Any suggestions?
3) Your cat can speak any single human language, if only she could be
bothered to. Which language would it be? why?
She doesn't have opposable thumbs, so ASL is out. I assume she would still be deaf though. It would kinda be nice if she could lipread English so that when I yelled at her, she'd get the hint. Although it would also be really practical to have someone speaking Spanish here.
4) Describe the perfect way to spend a sunny afternoon.
Sunny afternoons are perfect for jeans and t-shirts and birkenstocks. They're for walking up to DuPont Circle, getting coffee and a snack and hanging out on the edge of the fountain with good friends, talking about really important stuff and watching the eye candy. They're perfect for digging toes into the grass along the Mall with a good book, or a picnic. There's a special smell to a sunny afternoon, fresh, green. Take that in.
5) Have any of your charges ever managed to shock you will a report of
some sexual activity they have done? Details please.
I can't think of any sex act. It shocked me when a guy described how he sometimes hits something with his dick when he's having sex with his girlfriend, and it felt kind of weird. I asked him to put his finger on the tip of his nose and asked if that's what it felt like. Turns out he was hitting her cervix. He wanted to know if it hurt, and I told him that some women were more sensitive to that than others and that he needed to ask her.
It shocked me to hear that one of our peer educators might be pregnant...mostly because it's not something I'd expect from this particular one, although I do know a few things that despite her resilience could have affected her choices.
Using candy wrappers as condoms also got me, a bit. Of course after the group where that was disclosed, my mind wondered how in the world it fit. Then there's also the kid who disclosed both chlamydia and erectile dysfunction...the chlamydia was a private disclosure, the ED was public, in the middle of group, when talking about the effect of marijuana.
One of the things we've realized though is that we're not shocked by much that the kids we work with tell us. We kind of expect it.
So what do you want to know?
