(no subject)

[geminigirl]

My mother.

My mother leaves the same voice mail for me whether someone dies, or she's angry with me or whatever. Which she left on my office phone today. Apparently the phone call was so important that she had to call my cell phone too, which was buzzing away on my desk. I left the lunch table to answer it.

My mother was at the beauty parlor [1] yesterday. Eileen the hair goddess (she does Mom's hair, and mine) mentioned to her that there was a new shop opening around the corner from the beauty parlor, and the woman was going to be making wedding dresses.

So what does Mom do? Makes an appointment for Saturday morning for us to go over there.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Without trying on a dress, she's not going to tell me how ugly I am, or how awful I look or anything like that. I am, admittedly, the one who suggested having the dress made, rather than trying to buy off the rack. But I'm just not up for it this weekend. I'm not up for dealing with my mother that way right now. Or much at all...

Or trying to imagine what my wedding dress should look like, since I wasn't one of those girls who had a thousand ideas about my wedding. It's a wedding. It will happen. There will be people and food and dancing and a rabbi. And Cayne.

At least Eileen will probably do my hair...despite it being a Sunday, she implied to Mom that she already knows what she wants to do with it. I'll pop in and talk to her on Saturday...

1. I have no idea why beauty parlor gives me chills up and down my spine. It just sounds...creepy or something to me. But that's what Mom calls it.

Comments

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Heh. Never thought of beauty parlors that way. But I don't even get my hair cut all that often.

You seem to have some ideas on your dress. You at least know what you don't like, based on some of the things you've found on line. And I remember you mentioning sleeves and such.

Y'know... I wonder if there's some site somewhere which lets you play with shapes and other bits of wedding dresses. If this lady makes them perhaps she has overlays she uses to help you see what things would look like.

[fortryll.livejournal.com]

Would it work to just tell your mother than this weekend you'd prefer to not go to the dress shop? You can even throw in the "since I was sick all week and I'm still not feeling totally up to par...".

Just a thought.

[geminigirl]

It's actually not the worst idea in the world to go and talk to the dressmaker. If nothing else, I may come away with ideas about what I do or don't want when I go shopping again in a few weeks.

I don't actually mind doing it...what I mind is not being asked.

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

True. That's rather presumptuous of her.

[nadeera.livejournal.com]

I understand being annoyed at the not being asked. That can get a little grating particularly when you're dealing with a known control-freak. (I don't mean that in a horendously offensive manner - I'm a control-freak/plan-freak etc..the boys in my house know this, tease me about it and set their limits accordingly and get cranky when I overstep.)

However, it may be possible that she thought you'd be happy that someone she and you like and trust recommended someone who could possibly provide the perfect solution - a custom made wedding dress and in her excitement, she made the appointment thinking there was no way you'd be upset because its what you said you wanted (or she thinks you said you wanted.) Or, possibly, that she snapped up an appointment since you don't come up every weekend and its good to get these things out of the way (whether you like it/the dressmaker or not, at least it was something you tried.)

Obviously, I'm not your mom and I'm sure you have lots of ideas on why she did it. Speaking as someone who is frequently guilty of the overplanning/control-freak lifestyle, I thought I'd provide some possibilities.

Good luck this weekend!

[geminigirl]

You're right. It's a control freak thing...and one way I respond to my Mom's controlling behavior is by feeling the need to be in control.

Mom and I had discussed the possibility of a custom made dress before; I'm hard to fit off the rack, and rather fussy about the wedding dress a custom made dress could potentially have all the things I like, and not the things I don't. I had pointed out that while I liked the idea, I didn't know anyone up there who could do it. And I do trust Eileen; she's never pointed me in the wrong direction before...and she's flat out refused to cut off my hair when I was frustrated with it.

I wouldn't be bothered if Mom had called me and said "Hey, Eileen said this, and do you want to check it out." I'd have actually said "Yes." Instead, being told that I have that appointment makes me grouchy.

It'll be fine. And if it's reasonable, and within whatever we decide the dress budget is, then I would get what I want...a unique and flattering wedding dress. And it might even have purple in it.

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Many hugs...