(no subject)

[geminigirl]

As I was cutting up some chicken to go in a stir fry for Cayne's lunch, I had Oprah on the TV. She's interviewing author Terry McMillian (of the semi-autobiographical How Stella Got her Groove Back and Waiting to Exhale and others) and her ex-husband, Johnathan Plummer, who revealed to Terry that he was gay.

During the early part of the program, Oprah was discussing with Terry McMillan how Johnathan revealed his sexual orientation to Oprah, and how, at the time he revealed to her that he is gay he also said that he'd never been intimate with a man. Terry McMillian responded with, "That's like saying you're an alcoholic without ever having had a drink."

It's a frequent refrain, "How can you know you're lesbian/gay/bisexual if you've never had sex with a MOTAS¹?

So, how did you know about your own sexuality...gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, whatever label you choose to apply? Before or after you started having sex? Did you ever question it? How do you feel about what Terry McMillian said to Johnathan-do you think people can know before they try it?

(Anon posting on, IP logging off, so go ahead an answer anonymously if you like-also, feel free to link to this post and encourage other people to answer, and mactavish I can re-post it Friday to bisexual as a QOTW if you like.)

1. Member Of The Appropriate Sex

Comments

[geminigirl]

I don't think anyone would try and figure out who you are, but I'm glad you felt like you could disclose what you did here. It's an interesting thing to think about.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I didn't really expect anyone to try to figure out who I was, actually; I'm not sure why I felt the need to add that last comment.

But as for feeling I could disclose what I did here...well, hey, disclosing something like this anonymously is easy. But actually disclosing it non-anonymously (is there a less awkward antonym of "anonymously"?)...well, I think it's going to be a long time before I feel up to doing that...

[geminigirl]

I know for me, the hardest person to tell was myself. You've gotten past that part. That's a good place to start.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah.

It took me 36 years to tell myself that I'm bisexual. I told myself pretty much 2 millaseconds before the words came out of my mouth and I told Dan.

And once I said it, a lot of things suddenly made sense, and it just felt right. Even if I'd never had sex with a woman, just admitting to myself that yes, I am attracted to women sexually just felt like waking up.

I am blessed in that Dan was never anything other than accepting, and was never worried that this meant the end of his and my relationship.

[alibee.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

I think that surrounding yourself with people who you trust is the second step.