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Jun. 6th, 2006 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminigirlThe home inspection is tomorrow. I'm crossing fingers or something that it all goes well.
We bought a futon on Sunday, sort of. We put some money down on it, but held off on paying for it in full until we know where it will be delivered to. We needed a new futon anyway, it was a purchase we'd planned to make, so we went to look, saw one we liked, which happened to be on sale, and decided to buy it. It'll go in the guest bedroom/office/man cave/whatever wherever we end up, whether it's the house we put an offer on or not.
I got some news over the weekend which, while I am, in my heart, happy about, it's also raised all kinds of other emotions, largely anger and a feeling of "it's not fair." I won't talk about what the news is right now, but I'm not happy about my own reactions. And while I understand, in a very logical way, that they're emotions, and they don't have to be rational, that doesn't make me feel better about some of them.
I see my midwife again on Wednesday. We'll see what she has to say. I'm hoping she'll say "the cyst is gone, here's what your bloodwork says, now let's talk about getting pregnant."
Some readers may have noticed that I'm not myself. Others may not have. It doesn't matter. :) I've been struggling with some depression lately, which may be related to any number of factors-the miscarriage, going back on the pill, both of those may be reflected in how I'm feeling now. Cayne and I were discussing it over the weekend, and while I was aware of not feeling quite like myself, I hadn't realized that he was so aware, nor how serious it really is. It's not overwhelming, I'm not at a level of truly impaired function, but it is affecting some things. There are some things that I seem to only do when I'm feeling blue, which Cayne noticed; I never had connected the two. There are other things that, once he pointed that out, I could connect-the lack of appetite, the exhaustion, and desire to sleep in the middle of the day, the more intense insomnia. Some of it may be stress, some of it may be hormones, some situational. I'm going to remain aware, mention it at the midwife appointment on Wednesday, and see what needs to happen.
We bought a futon on Sunday, sort of. We put some money down on it, but held off on paying for it in full until we know where it will be delivered to. We needed a new futon anyway, it was a purchase we'd planned to make, so we went to look, saw one we liked, which happened to be on sale, and decided to buy it. It'll go in the guest bedroom/office/man cave/whatever wherever we end up, whether it's the house we put an offer on or not.
I got some news over the weekend which, while I am, in my heart, happy about, it's also raised all kinds of other emotions, largely anger and a feeling of "it's not fair." I won't talk about what the news is right now, but I'm not happy about my own reactions. And while I understand, in a very logical way, that they're emotions, and they don't have to be rational, that doesn't make me feel better about some of them.
I see my midwife again on Wednesday. We'll see what she has to say. I'm hoping she'll say "the cyst is gone, here's what your bloodwork says, now let's talk about getting pregnant."
Some readers may have noticed that I'm not myself. Others may not have. It doesn't matter. :) I've been struggling with some depression lately, which may be related to any number of factors-the miscarriage, going back on the pill, both of those may be reflected in how I'm feeling now. Cayne and I were discussing it over the weekend, and while I was aware of not feeling quite like myself, I hadn't realized that he was so aware, nor how serious it really is. It's not overwhelming, I'm not at a level of truly impaired function, but it is affecting some things. There are some things that I seem to only do when I'm feeling blue, which Cayne noticed; I never had connected the two. There are other things that, once he pointed that out, I could connect-the lack of appetite, the exhaustion, and desire to sleep in the middle of the day, the more intense insomnia. Some of it may be stress, some of it may be hormones, some situational. I'm going to remain aware, mention it at the midwife appointment on Wednesday, and see what needs to happen.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 11:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 12:28 pm (UTC)I hope you get good news at the midwife tomorrow!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 06:45 pm (UTC)I've noticed you've been quieter, and I haven't wanted to intrude, but I am always here if you want to talk.
Good luck tomorrow!
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 10:27 pm (UTC)In case you didn't know, I went through it twice myself. Once with the ex, and the last one I've never talked about. The only ones who even knew are B and I.