(no subject)

[geminigirl]

While no one is (I hope) expecting a constant stream of chatter from this end, I do apologize for the pretty well complete radio silence.

We're in the throes of a serious low milk supply issue (not entirely unexpected as we knew going in that there was potential for a problem) so we're on a pretty crazy schedule that involves nursing, pumping and feeding. We're hunting still for local donor milk, I'm already taking domperidone, the lactation consultant is wonderful and, despite being on vacation this weekend, we've been in contact with her every day at her request, etc. In other words, we're doing all the right things, but it's a matter of time and patience and decision making...and the reality is that the baby needs an emotionally healthy parent more than breastmilk-whatever I can give her is wonderful, and if I can give her more than that, that's also terrific, but if I can't, something is better than nothing.

While I was intellectually prepared for this to happen, I'm not sure anything could have prepared me emotionally for it. It's pretty heartbreaking, and I've gone back and forth around anger/grief/resentment/questioning and all the usual emotions which would be difficult enough to begin with but throw a dose of post partum hormones in there and things aren't exactly easy...physically I feel terrific though, and (hate me if you want) I'm in pre-pregnancy clothes and they fit better now than they did before I got pregnant.

I should try and get some of the work done around the house while the baby is sleeping-we're preparing for an impromptu 35th birthday gathering for zedrikcayne who turns 35 tomorrow.

Comments

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

Oh no. I am so so sorry to hear that. You know I understand what you're going through, so don't hesitate to email me if you need to vent.

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

Have you read my nursing story yet? It's in the memories of my journal. If you read it and want to talk to someone who really, really gets it, please call or email. It's a grieving process, and it's pretty horrible, but it does get better, and it's possible to be successful despite everything. Elliot is still nursing at almost three due to our hard work and never quitting. Lots of love to you all.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

While no one is (I hope) expecting a constant stream of chatter from this end, I do apologize for the pretty well complete radio silence.

YOU JUST HAD A BABY!

Yeesh. :-)


I hope you have lots of people to talk to about the nursing issue. I know it's fraught. {hugs}

[inkedmama.livejournal.com]

i'm glad to hear you're doing well (yay for already wearing pre-pregnancy clothes!), and i hope you're able to work out your nursing struggles. it seems like you have a fabulous attitude about it though.

*hugs*

and it was really good to see an update from you! :)

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

Y'know, feed the baby what milk you can make (you might also ask your lactation consultant about fenugreek, which is a galactagogue), and supplement with formula. Maybe the milk supply will increase, maybe it won't, but it's not an all-or-nothing situation.

[wolfden.livejournal.com]

I too was thinking of fenugreek. I never used it but know people that have had much success. There are a couple of herbs that increase milk supply. I'm not that familiar with them.

I know a lot of people find a lot of good info from La Leche League too.

I'm willing to listen to breast feeding woes and lend as much support as I can.

I know people that have had luck with Supplemental Feeding System that you wear around your neck.

Do you have a hospital grade pump? We rented one. I found it made a HUGE difference.

Hang in there.

Someday when it's not so close, I'll tell you about my breast pump meltdown when Tatiana was about 3 days old.

Be gentle with yourself.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

oh, good point. What kind of pump do you *have*? I have a really good one that I bought for Maggie; it's eight years old but it should still work and I'd be happy to send it to you guys.

[geminigirl]

It's a Medela Pump In Style. I'm thinking about asking Pat (the LC) about a hospital grade pump if I'm going to keep up the pumping thing.

Which pump do you have?

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

oh. that's what I've got, I think. Electric, two horns?

[entirelysonja.livejournal.com]

I agree that checking into a hospital grade pump could be a good thing. I have spoken with women who preferred the PIS to the hospital-grade pump, but most women I know who've had a medical need for a breastpump liked the hospital-grade pump better. The Medela Symphony is a good one.

A couple of things I didn't already mention:

Remember that even if you don't establish a full milk supply, a partial milk supply can provide many of the practical benefits of a full milk supply. Being able to leave the house for moderate-length outings without bringing a supplement, for example. And after Naomi is eating solids well (which I know seems like it is an eternity away right now), those outings will grow longer. Eventually (after she's perhaps a year old), you may well be able to forego supplementation entirely but still nurse as long as you both want to.

And of course nursing provides many benefits that are not directly related to how much milk is produced. Comfort, connection, security, peace -- our babies and young children experience all of those things while nursing in our arms. And as evidenced by the number of children who continue to nurse even when their mothers have completely dried up during a subsequent pregnancy, those associations can be very important and powerful!

Oh, and about the postpartum hormones -- I don't remember if I told you what a complete roller-coaster I was on after Karl was born. I have never felt that unbalanced in my whole life.

[entirelysonja.livejournal.com]

As I was lying in bed with Karl this morning, I experienced another one of those practical advantages that's not really dependent on exactly how much milk you have:

Once you learn to nurse lying down, if you don't feel like getting up just yet but Naomi does, you'll likely be able to nurse her in bed for a while before you actually have to make yourself get up. :-)

Regarding what wait said about the right size attachments for a hospital-grade pump, the sized ones I gave you for the PIS are the same ones that are used with the Medela Symphony ("PersonalFit"), so if either of those sizes is working for you, you won't need more breast shields, and if you do need a different size, you don't need to buy the whole assembly. The valves and membranes you already have are also the same. But you do need different tubing and the membranes and membrane caps for the Symphony itself. These parts are available separately.

[yix.livejournal.com]

Well, I know you know I'm here and that I went through my own difficult milk supply problems. I would love to know (when you get a chance, but not urgent!) how the domperidone goes. I also wanted to throw out there that I loved the Medala Symphony for comfort and help with letdown. I have the PIS and liked that one for travel (battery pack!) and I started with the other hospital grade Medela (the blue one) and it was okay, but the Symphony felt worth the upgrade.

It took me a long long time to realize that what was best for Sam went beyond being able to breastfeed and that my overall sanity was just as (or maybe more) important. I'm glad you are keeping that in mind and that you are also getting a lot of support from people you trust to help.

But no, there is no way to prepare for the heartbreak of the situation.

I hope you get to a (preferably milky) peaceful place soon.

[fairion.livejournal.com]

I am glad you are starting with the domperidome earlier than I did. I hope your milk does come in. When you do decide it is time to stop the domperidome, taper off I did not (noone told me I needed to) and crashed bad which is not something you need on top of everything else you are going through.

*hugs*

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Nursing should be so easy ... and for so many of us it isn't. My difficulties were different from what you're going through, but I expect the emotional carnage is similar.

Feed the baby. Love the baby. Be gentle with yourself.

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

A) So not a failing.

B) You now get to say things like "... while the baby is asleep"!

C) Still so not a failing.

[wait.livejournal.com]

Dittoing on what the other folks said! You need a hospital grade pump at your house; make sure they show you how to use it properly and that you have the right size attachment.

(Medela PIS is actually a great pump for someone who pumps a few times a day, but you need the Oomph!)

I have a friend who had success with Fenugreek. You know you're taking enough when your pee smells like maple syrup. ;)

You mentioned the LC has been on vacation? Have they actually met with you yet? Seeing you nurse is vital.

And and please take this the right way when I say GO TO BED! You just had a baby! Give the boy a big hug and let them order pizza.

*big hugs*

[geminigirl]

Saw her Monday and Wednesday, had a weight check with the pediatrician on Friday while Pat's away. We'll keep seeing her as often as she wants until we know what's going on.

[vix.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Obviously I can't really offer any advice here, but you have my support and I would just say be patient with your body and yourself. It has been through a lot lately!