(no subject)

[geminigirl]

I'm suspicious...

Cayne did remember to wish me a happy birthday this morning, but no card, no gift, no nothing. He did mention going to dinner tonight, but I'm exhausted. All I want today is a nap, and Naomi isn't cooperating. It's the kind of day where I count the minutes until he gets home. And he mentioned Macaroni Grill for dinner, though really I'd prefer Chinese food.

And seriously, the one thing I really want right now is this new breast pump cause I'm seriously going crazy doing all this pumping. I'm so tempted to give up on the breast milk thing (forthcoming post about breastfeeding if I ever have two hands free to write it again.) *sigh*

All I want is a nap. Seriously. I think I may cry if I don't get one soon.

Comments

[geekchick]

Happy birthday! I hope you get your nap.

[geminigirl]

Thanks.

I think I've had more caffeine in the last five and a half weeks since the baby's arrival than I have in probably the preceding ten years.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

It's ok to cry. Sobbing miserably while holding a baby is a time honored tradition.

If you haven't tried it, sometimes we could get Zoe to settle down and maybe sleep if we went into the bathroom. Turned off all the lights. Started the shower running. And either rocked her while sitting on the toilet, or paced back and forth with her.

Pumping sucks.

[geminigirl]

Pumping does suck. And since she's got a crappy latch and I've got low supply it's almost the only way she's getting my breast milk these days. I'm so tempted to give up but I think I'd have a hard time forgiving myself if I did.

She settled for a few minutes when I ran the water over her in the kitchen sink, but then started up again, and it's been on and off all day. I'm counting the minutes til Cayne gets home.

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday - I hope you get your nap and the breast pump!

[rockstarbob.livejournal.com]

Amen!

Happy day to you, E.

[puzzld1.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday Hunny.
I remember that desperate "I need a nap" thing all too well. I ache with you. As aelf said, sobbing miserably while holding the baby is a time-honored tradition. If I was there I would so take her for a walk so you could sleep.
Pumping really does suck. I had to pump when I went back to work and it got increasingly frustrating, until I couldn't do it anymore. Babies need sane Mamas more than they need breast milk. Do what you need to do, and we all (including Naomi) will think you are a rock star Mama)
Formula is NOT poison. Many amazing mothers do not breastfeed. If you need to let it go, you should totally forgive yourself. There is ideal and there is LIFE.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Babies need sane Mamas more than they need breast milk.

Yes, this. We are fortunate to live in a time where we have a fantastic alternative to breastmilk. We have been able to formulate a food so close to breastmilk that children not only manage to live while eating it, but they thrive.

We should never feel guilty for providing for our children.

[geminigirl]

Babies do need sane Mamas and Papas more than breast milk. I'm going to go at least six weeks-I have to give her that. And if I can keep going beyond that (Maggie is encouraging me to go to ten weeks) I will, but if it ever hits a point where it's negatively affecting my ability to care for her, or Cayne's ability to care for her then I can, in good conscience, know that I did the best I could, and that she got something, and something is, in this case, far better than nothing. I'm trying to do right by her and sometimes that means making decisions about my own situation...sometimes it's sacrificing what I need or want for her and sometimes it's making the decision to take care of myself in order to be able to best care for her. Right now it's sort of in between which one is best.

If I was there I would so take her for a walk so you could sleep. Thanks for the thought-it made me smile and think "payback for taking Molly for a walk so that you could go have adult naked playtime at Gaylaxicon so very many years ago. :)

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday!

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! I hope you get something nice.

[mskathy.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! I have no sage thoughts on the BF issue, just that I'm thinking good things for you both. I do know what it is like to be in your shoes and I don't envy you! The sheer exhaustion and sleep deprivation of a newborn are enough to rattle the most sane of people, add nursing issues in and things get worse. I am glad you have a good local support system.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

I didn't know it was your birthday. Have a happy, my dear.

[geminigirl]

Yep. For the last 33 years.

[bangfrog.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday!

Please prioritize sleep sweetie! Life is so much better when well slept.

[geminigirl]

Trying very hard. got a little nap this afternoon when Cayne came home, and he's making little dinner for us-we'll get Chinese food from the place that has really good food but is too expensive for anything but a treat later this week when I might enjoy it.

[ladygreyy.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday, mama. If I lived closer, I'd come watch her so you could get a good long nap.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

i agree with this comment. xo & happy day, lady.

[veryfineredwine.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! I hereby offer to provide childcare while you and zedrikcaynecheck out the local Chinese food emporia. :)

[palliddreamer.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to echo the above thoughts and send you good wishes. Never ever beat yourself up for using formula. I've had plenty of patients try breast feeding and end up on formula. Their kids will end up just fine, and are certainly not loved any less. You need to be sane, and mothering is tiring and frustrating enough. I'm a huge BF advocate, but do what's best for you!

Good luck and get a nap in when you can. =)

[geminigirl]

I did get a little nap today. It helped.

And I thought it would feel okay when the pediatrician said "it's okay to stop."

It still feels kinda icky. :P

Thanks for the vote of confidence though.

[wolfden.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday!

I rented a hospital grade breast pump when I was pumping. The fact that I could double pump and that it had really good suction made a mega difference. None of the regular ones I tried worked as well. But I agree that while breast milk is great having a sane mommy is more important.

*hugs*

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

Merry Birthday. :)

As concerning your other post, I'm sure you'll do the right thing for both you and Naomi, although I'm sure it's a hard decision, regardless of which way you go. As others have said, sanity is the best thing you can do for her.

[points.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday, and wishes for plenty of future sleep. ;)

[vix.livejournal.com]

Happy belated birthday!