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geminigirlI'm feeling perky today. I'm no Wednesday Adams, but feeling perky is perhaps not the usual descriptor for my mood.
In response to some of the comments to this post, I have the following to say.
1. I do it because it's part of my work, work which I care deeply about.
2. I do it because I can, because not everyone can do what I do, and there are lots of jobs out there that I admire the people who do them, but I couldn't.
3. I do it because I care-because I've been on the other side of the table, because I've sat there with the "oh no I'm going to puke" feeling in my stomach, tasted the nasty OraSure test, seen the needle in my arm, counted backwards to when the last time I did something was, spent the time in between waiting and scared, sworn I'd never ever do anything that might make me have to go through this again, all of that.
But![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tigerfemme, mhw and cappyhead all brought up an interesting theme...how you sound when you're "working", when you're in that social worker mode. I hear it in myself; I'm talking like a social worker again...I hear my inner social worker voice saying things. I know I switch back and forth between social worker me and regular me.
I do it because it has to be done, I do it because it matters to me, I do it because I can't imagine not doing it.
My skirt is getting made fun of today at work, yet again. It's not that short. It covers my knees in front, it's a little shorter than that in back. I worked here almost a year before I wore a skirt shorter than mid-calf length. They're amused, and I'm uncomfortable. I'm not used to wearing short things, so I'm very very self-conscious and they won't leave me alone. It's just part of the professional culture here I suppose. If it's not one person or one thing it's another. I'm just so hyperaware of it already that it's disconcerting.
I'm still a bit ticked off at being outed at work not long ago. Granted, it's hard to be not out at work...that's just not the way this place works. But I've taken so much teasing for being bisexual the last couple of weeks. I'm used to people finding out when I feel like it, not because someone else tells them. So it was out of my control...it happens. People get outed all the time. I don't know why it tweaked me. It just did.
And I'm the hot chocolate fairy today. Distributing packets of hot chocolate to all who ask. With Marshmallows.
In response to some of the comments to this post, I have the following to say.
1. I do it because it's part of my work, work which I care deeply about.
2. I do it because I can, because not everyone can do what I do, and there are lots of jobs out there that I admire the people who do them, but I couldn't.
3. I do it because I care-because I've been on the other side of the table, because I've sat there with the "oh no I'm going to puke" feeling in my stomach, tasted the nasty OraSure test, seen the needle in my arm, counted backwards to when the last time I did something was, spent the time in between waiting and scared, sworn I'd never ever do anything that might make me have to go through this again, all of that.
But
tigerfemme, mhw and cappyhead all brought up an interesting theme...how you sound when you're "working", when you're in that social worker mode. I hear it in myself; I'm talking like a social worker again...I hear my inner social worker voice saying things. I know I switch back and forth between social worker me and regular me. I do it because it has to be done, I do it because it matters to me, I do it because I can't imagine not doing it.
My skirt is getting made fun of today at work, yet again. It's not that short. It covers my knees in front, it's a little shorter than that in back. I worked here almost a year before I wore a skirt shorter than mid-calf length. They're amused, and I'm uncomfortable. I'm not used to wearing short things, so I'm very very self-conscious and they won't leave me alone. It's just part of the professional culture here I suppose. If it's not one person or one thing it's another. I'm just so hyperaware of it already that it's disconcerting.
I'm still a bit ticked off at being outed at work not long ago. Granted, it's hard to be not out at work...that's just not the way this place works. But I've taken so much teasing for being bisexual the last couple of weeks. I'm used to people finding out when I feel like it, not because someone else tells them. So it was out of my control...it happens. People get outed all the time. I don't know why it tweaked me. It just did.
And I'm the hot chocolate fairy today. Distributing packets of hot chocolate to all who ask. With Marshmallows.
