Birthday Party Etiquette Question

[geminigirl]

Naomi has been invited to a Build a Bear birthday party. She's obviously not old enough to be dropped off at a party by herself yet, and the party is on a weekday morning. As a result, I need to sort out what to do with Miriam (who will be fifteen and a half months old)-having one parent take the child to the party while the other stays with the other parent isn't an option as it would be if it were on a weekend. The timing is also such that my other normal childcare option (drop in daycare at the JCC) isn't possible.

So if you were the host of the party, and I called you and said "I'm going to have Miriam with me. If she does want to do anything, I'll be happy to pay for it-is that okay with you," would you actually be okay with having younger sibling there? And would you include younger sibling in headcount for birthday cake/other food if there is food?

I absolutely don't expect the host of the party to include Miriam in the actual, bear building part of the party, particularly since the IM I got telling me to look for the invite only mentioned my Naomi, and the kid who the party is for really is Naomi's friend (as much as three year olds actually have real friends...it's more that the other Mom and I are friends, so our kids hang out.) I'm just trying to figure out if I should think about paying a sitter on top of the birthday gift, which is likely to make Miriam miserable, or if it would be terribly rude to bring my her and pay for her myself?

Bonus question, what have other parents of more than one who are close in age done in similar situations?

(And this is why Naomi's birthday celebration this year will likely include siblings if there are any sibling sets invited...

Comments

[cmariewt.livejournal.com]

I am not a parent yet, so I don't know how valid my input is. That being said, I wouldn't think it would be a problem at all.

[kitchenwitch.livejournal.com]

I think that would be fine. Do you have a carrier? In your shoes I'd strap the little one on my back and hope she has so much fun watching everyone that she passes out. :D

[fairion.livejournal.com]

Given the timing of the party, I would think that the birthday girl's mother probably expects younger siblings to tag along. However given the age of the participants I would also figure that she probably figures younger tag alongs are not going to participate in anything other than eating.

[lovingboth]

Yes, it should be fine. As host, I wouldn't expect to include them in the 'food' for free if they are somewhere commercial and I was paying by the head, but cake would be.

If it's not fine, someone needs some serious clue that not everyone has a live-in nanny or whatever...

[zurcherart.livejournal.com]

I went to a build a bear party where the idea was definitely the more the merrier, but I'm sure that was a different type of party.

[goingdriftless.livejournal.com]

Non-parent weighing in... but I think you'll be fine bringing Miriam and asking to make sure there's a cupcake for her, too. Seems to me like it'd be a little rude to expect you to get a sitter or something just so Naomi could come to the party.

[slinkr.livejournal.com]

My friends had their kids' party at a puppet show and got tickets for the invited kids but said siblings etc were welcome to join them for cake after the show. I would just call and ask, I can't imagine it would be an issue.

[aliki.livejournal.com]

Not in the situation yet, but I would think it would be fine? Aren't birthday parties a sort of "more the merrier" type deal? Especially if Naomi is not at the age to be dropped off yet, and being a weekday morn, it's understandable that any mother who is a SAHM would have to bring younger siblings, no? (I know you have JCC is an option, but wouldn't any SAHM have to bring the younger ones?)

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

I always just let the parent know that I have the little one with me, and ask if that is ok. They always say yes.

[puzzld1.livejournal.com]

Call and ask-I doubt it's an issue