geminigirl | thoughts that have been hanging out in my head

I commend you for reading this far...I can't believe you're still interested in my babbling about karate.

I'd been feeling agitated for about a week and a half. Sort of like when I get bad PMS, but not quite the same. But agitated was the best word...short fuse, fidgety, the usual emotional symptoms. I knew this was impossible; I'd bled already.

I'd also missed out on two weeks of Karate, due to snow.

I get to karate, change my clothes, head upstairs to the room we workout in, bow and so much of it faded away. It was amazing. I had no idea how much I needed it...nor how much it's affected me in only a few months. And even if I was a bit sore on Friday, it went away by Saturday...nothing like the first few weeks.

I'm happy with it. It's two hours of time focused on nothing but the essentials...what is my body supposed to be doing, and am I making it do that? Last Thursday we were doing a couple of interesting things; one drill where you had to let your partner throw punches at you and at the last second, pivot out of the way. And it's scary with a much much much higher belt throwing punches at you and not being able to move. I was kind of standing there waiting, trying not to flinch, or move before I was supposed to.

Left handed things are still difficult. My punches feel awkward. My shoulder moves too much. The pivoting drill was much harder to do to the left than the right. Speed is still difficult. Two things at once is very difficult. We did another drill last Thursday, which involved turning and punching or turning and blocking. In slow motion, it's fine. But the drill got faster and faster and faster...and more and more difficult. Nearly impossible to keep up. I did the best I could though.

At least I'm being broken of most bad habits early on; I'm constantly being reminded to watch my shoulders, to stand square and to stop looking where I'm punching. I may start practicing punching with my eyes closed; it's certain to keep me from lookign at what I'm doing.

(I'm still not convinced that

tommx is right about turning me into a badass. But it's fun trying.)

Interestingly enough, there was a dojo party last night. Which there will be another, separate post about. But I went to the party, and decided I wanted a glass of wine. I carefully considered this decision because I'm used to one glass of wine being enough to make me loopy. (It was yummy wine too...) But I had a glass, and I felt okay. I had a second, figuring it would be fine, that there would be enough time before I drove home. What was interesting to me, (and how this relates, other than simply being at a dojo party) is the connection between muscle and metabolizing alcohol. (Okay, I'm being geeky here, skip it or bear with me...) Seeing as I'm not drinking anymore than usual (once in a great while, the exception being my trip to Dallas) is it simply that I've got more muscle than before?

I'm still unsettled on what makes a place (not the apartment or house or dwelling, but the community) home. I've stopped calling my parents house "home" most of the time-it's not "home" anymore. It's the house I grew up in. It's the community that shaped me. It's a lot of things, but it's not really "home."

And I feel like where I am now is. I know the local roads, the backways to places, I have favorite places to eat, and shop. I have friends and relationships. I have connections. I know the local issues. I do stuff.

I'm not settled down...I'm not sure this is where I would want to do that. It's my place for now though.

I'm mulling over being called an "intellectual voyer"-as in needing to know how people work. It's true. And I find myself asking and thinking in a social-work-y fashion, even when I'm not doing that. The way I ask questions I guess, and process information. I find that it's hard to not respond that way sometimes. It's just normal now; a pardigm shift from when I started grad school-which is coming up on five years ago.

I should probably get back to the other things that I wanted to do today, although most of the essential things are done. After I make another post.