An HIV related emotional roller coaster

[geminigirl]

A lot of my life focuses on HIV. Some days that's harder than others. Today it's been a roller coaster ride.

Today I've been angry about HIV...

Angry because I should get another HIV test. (And sure, this is preventable, and my risk is pretty minimal, but I'd be lying if I said none.

Angry because I've written two comments today about people getting HIV tests. Which makes me crazy for no known reason...

Angry because people I love and care about are sick. Which just plain sucks.

and because sometimes, my job makes me crazy.

At the same time, sometime I question the legitimacy of my anger. Which is probably silly, but it's hard not to.

And then, I read my friends page and saw rivka's post...where she pointed out this page which was funny and made me laugh. And brightened my mood considerably.

It's a roller coaster...some days are harder than others. Especially with an emotionally charged issue like the one I work with. It's good to be reminded to laugh.

But somedays, I wish I could be out of a job.

Comments

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

Thanks for sharing those comics, I'm gonna pass along the URL to my fairy godfathers!

[geminigirl]

County Health Department does free anon testing. Their hours suck. Option 2 is Whitman Walker, at 14th and R. (My last two experiences have been horrible there, but that's actually where I'll go next time I want to test. For me it's primarily about not knowing who's doing the testing, and that's more likely to happen if I go there, where it's primarily volunteer based, rather than out here where it's the nurses. And keep in mind, I'm not your average client either, so I'm probably hyper-critical of how they do things. That and knowing one of the people who does their QA stuff.)

Option 3-If you're 24 or younger and comfortable with confidential, rather than anonymous testing, come do it through my office.

I may get it together and go over to Whitman Walker one of these days. Let me know if you want company. I think they have testing hours on Wednesday night, which means you get results on Friday, since they do the lab work in house, but don't quote me on that...things may have changed.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I know what you mean. Glad I could help a little.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

Hey - I can relate to what youre saying in a funny kind of way (I'm a diseased pariah myself) because you have to strike a balance between keeping the spotlight on HIV and not letting it dominate your life. That goes for whether you are poz or not. Know what I mean?

[geminigirl]

I do know what you mean. And because it's my work, sometimes it's hard not to take it home with me. It sort of hangs around, whether I want it to or not.


I'm not poz, and I work pretty hard at staying that way. But nobody's perfect, and nothing is 100%. But whether I am or not, somehow I feel like I have a responsibility to do this prevention work. It's a calling of sorts...a mission if you will. I don't know why or how. It's just what I'm supposed to be working on. And so I do. I can't imagine not working in some tangential way that's connected to HIV prevention. Even on the days that I'm frustrated, pissed off, angry or dissatisfied.

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

OK - now you'll have to tell me exactly what you do, and how HIV prevention fits in . Coz I'm very active in the local, provincial and federal AIDS communities too and I do prevention work - of sorts - as a public speaker. So maybe we have more in common than I thought.

PS I'm really glad I put you on my friends list.

[roosterbear.livejournal.com]

She is awesome, isn't she?

[geminigirl]

You are so totally making me blush.

And it's no fair cause I'm a redhead and it's extra easy.

Exactly What I do...

[geminigirl]

I'm a youth prevention specialist with Northern Virginia AIDS Ministry which, despite having "ministry" in it's name is not affiliated with any particular faith.

What that means is that I run a program called "Rap It Up"-a six session intensive intervention (psychoeducational group stuff) for high risk youth, dealing with HIV, STDs, Substance Abuse, Decision Making and Negotiation Skills. Or, the quick and dirty? I talk about sex and drugs with teenagers, but not rock and roll because you can't get AIDS from rock and roll.

I also work with a peer education program, to recruit, train and supervise peer educators.

And I do HIV testing and counseling.

Sometime, probably when I'm melancholy, I'll get around to writing a post about how and why I do this work. I'll add it to the memories, too.

Re: Exactly What I do...

[ruralrob.livejournal.com]

OK - I kinda guessed that was your line of work, so thanks for filling in the gaps.

It would be interesting to hear how and why you do this kind of work, coz it sure does take special people to do it. And sounds to me like you're special.

You can blush now!

Re: Exactly What I do...

[geminigirl]

I wish I knew where you people got these crazy ideas....

Re: Exactly What I do...

[geminigirl]

http://www.livejournal.com/talkpost.bml?journal=geminigirl&itemid=127158

written especially for you.